XOXO Meaning: What Does XOXO Mean and How Did It Come to Be?

Hi y'all I'm here to share an problem I have faced and after speaking to a few other female streamers, it seems to be a normal problem. There shall be no links or sales pitches and this is on a throwaway. This is also going to be a very long post.
To begin - If you are doing twitch solely for income, there is nothing wrong with that and this warning will not apply to you. If you are trying to build a community please read on. This is also mostly directed at female streamers, I am one myself, but good knowledge all around.
I'm a mid-20's part time streamer while I go to school during the day. I started streaming over a year ago. Things went well; I had an active community both on and off twitch. My twitch income was low but it was never the main focus of my stream. Unfortunately I'm a poor college student so every sub and every bit warmed my heart. I got pretty close to partner, just shy of an average number of viewers. I started a push with some goals and incentives to hit partner!
I never hit partner.
During a personal celebration stream I had someone come into chat and after posting come cute animal emotes from the other women he's subscribed to, I welcomed him in with open arms as I would anyone else. Then he gifted 100 community subs. He spoke altruistically about how my community seemed fun and he wanted to support me and my community. Everyone was hype! In my stomach I felt strange that someone came in and spent that much on my stream but gift subs were normal in my stream and even an inside joke to a degree.
I kept an eye on this new person wondering what would make someone spend that much on someone they'd watched for only a few hours. He spoke about his job and he was very open about exactly what he did. In an effort to not doxx myself or said person, let's just say it was one of those jobs that the general public assumes anyone working in makes fat bank. He had spending money and seemed to be an adult not spending his last few dollars for attention. He never made any overtly creepy comments and we often spoke about adult things. No boundaries were ever crossed.
It got weird after a few months. Around the beginning of each month he'd gift another hundred or so subs. He'd sometimes treat me like a dancing monkey asking "what is your favorite drink" "what is your favorite pizza" "what's your favorite meal" "what games have you been wanting", all innocuous questions but then he would almost always immediately donate through paypal to cover the costs for any of these things. It reminded me of when I'd be out at a bar drinking with friends and a man would come up to me and ask me nearly the same thing as an ice breaker to then buy me a drink or meal. I would often tell these men no but these are usually the type of men to not take a stern no for an answer. This isn't a flex by any means. I don't want to be someone's sugar baby, I came on twitch to build a community and maybe make money.
I believe Community subs were built for big streamers, the streamers with hundreds if not thousands of viewers. Community gift subs are not really that great for someone with less than a hundred viewers. As a celebration or one-off thing they can be fine but they were almost all handed out to bots or people who had likely opened my stream and closed it. Even worse they were often handed out to people who had followed and unfollowed. I can't begin to count how many times we had people follow and unfollow only to follow again (presumably out of guilt) when they were gifted a sub.
Long gone were the days that I'd had people making friends in chat anymore. All of my regulars slowly disappeared and all the newcomers sort of worshipped this guy. They called him generous, they called him epic, they thanked him and acted as if they were friends.
Nobody was friends with this guy. Not even me. I realized far too late he'd basically forced his way into my community. He started suggesting games for me to play and just like the men at the bar who didn't know how to take a soft no as an answer, he'd offer to pay for them. I'd naïvely added him on steam so I was constantly gifted games he'd love to see me play.
How do you say no to any of this? This isn't someone outright giving me money asking for nudes back. This isn't someone who is afraid to talk about how much he makes or spends. He was always telling me how many subs he gifted in other channels. Maybe as a brag or maybe an attempt to make me jealous. Or even worse maybe in an attempt to make me beg for those subs myself.
Streaming albeit profitable is no longer fun. Do you remember in old movies when there was often a woman singing alone on a stage and a man would walk into the jazz club and start flaunting his wealth an an attempt to woo her? That's what streaming feels like now. I no longer know anyone in my community. My dreams of reaching partner are dead as I have no desire to stream anyway. Whenever I do stream I feel more like this guy is now my pimp and he's never done ONE actual bad thing.
I've reached out to a few other female streamer friends and quite a few have very similar stories. I've come to realize a lot of these men talk like dads in chat. RANDOMLY.......capitalizing WORDS.....and using.....A LOT.....of ellipses. Once they stop using the cute animals or cute girl emotes from the streamers they subscribe to. I could theorize all day long if they have some sort of father-daughter fetish where they really want to take care of a much younger woman, but it also may just be someone who is socially dumb and believes money will solve everything.
Community gift subs alone have scared off all of my regulars. Now my chat is constantly full of people asking me who I am, following me, then thanking the very generous man who gifted them a sub and pulled them into my stream. I'm constantly getting notifications that I was gifted a sub from the same man to another woman's stream. Another common thread I found was they love to intertwine their favorite streamers. In the same way they'll push hard for you to play their favorite game and they're often not really gamers themselves, at the end of a stream when you start looking to raid someone they're quick to pipe up with a few names of people who they do the same thing to.
Beyond killing my own community, I can no longer recommend my friends who were often female as this same guy would go into their chat and gift their community another hundred subs. To see that unawareness and excitement upon getting that breaks my heart. If this guy stays and does the same thing to me as he did to them, I'd never wish that on a friend. It's not like I can pass him off to someone else either as he already seemingly does this to a handful of other women.

So now I write this as a eulogy for my streaming dreams on twitch. I'll never make partner. I can't just outright ban this man as he's given me so much money and I have no real reason to ban him. My discord is bare and any time I post in there to liven it up he hits back with some caring type message. I cannot talk about anything without some overtly nice input from him. I was naive in the beginning and didn't have a business paypal so he knows my full name. I've deleted my social media accounts under my real name as I never want this man to follow me off the platform. I tried to remove different aspects from my stream that even remotely incentivized money. Turned off hype train, got rid of paypal, even turned off on stream notifications. Nothing worked. He just wants to give me money. Which from the outside doesn't sound like much of a problem but it is. No longer do I have friends in chat jokingly giving bits or subs to friends. My entire stream is under his thumb and if he decides to leave then I'm back at square one as my community has been gutted. I suspect this guy with his job that you have to be pretty intelligent to partake in knows all of this too. My stream is now his.
So my only option is to quit and maybe someday stream under a new name and without a webcam. I only want this to serve as a warning to anyone else who finds themselves with someone like this in their stream. Maybe you can nip it in the bud, lest you find yourself as a dancing monkey for one wealthy man.
After reaching out to friends we realized a few things as well. Gifting 100 subs will give an affiliate around $250 in revenue and cost the gifter around $550 dollars. Whereas they could buy 25,000 twitch bits which will give the streamer $250 but only cost the bit-gifter around $350. These are already insane amounts but why would you spend $200 more dollars to give the streamer the same amount of revenue. In most cases it's a celebration of community and gives back and helps build a community.
In this case, it killed my community and made this man the one and only OG of my stream and he's likely fully aware of it. All while never actually doing anything wrong. Lots of love and be safe XOXO

my (25f) boyfriend's (27m) parent's hate me no matter what I do, and I'm completely at a loss. Please give me advice.

This is going to be kind of long. I'm sorry--it's been a lot. I would really, really appreciate any and all advice.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year. We make each other incredibly happy; we've both been in longterm relationships before, and there's a mutual feeling that this is the first relationship we could see leading to marriage. We live together and make a great team. I've never felt so cared for or understood in my life, and he feels the same.
His parents are convinced I'm some evil villain come to ruin their son.
Some background: Boyfriend has a chronic illness, I have a traumatic brain injury that I got from slipping on ice two months into dating. Other than a few months off, I've worked full-time throughout my recovery while managing my symptoms on top of managing a second career as an author. I sold my debut novel to a the second largest publisher in the world at 24 and it'll be out in 2022. So...I'm hardly some deadbeat on the street.
Basically since we met, his parents have been cold to me. When I go over there they freeze me out or ignore me. I've tried multiple times to bring up things I know they're interested in, and they'll respond with silence. This would be fine--except his mom likes to pull stunts where she'll call him out of the blue and rant and rave about how I don't fit into their family. (They're upper middle class; I come from. a lower middle class background, and don't have a relationship with my mom, who is abusive.)
For a year now I've been treading on eggshells and trying to make things work. I figure as long as we can be civil, it doesn't matter, because we plan to move further away regardless.
Then, this week, we discovered out bathroom was filled with black mold. Due to my boyfriend's illness, we had to flee immediately; we were essentially homeless and staying in hotels, which I paid for, because his parent's house is too loud and he can't sleep there.
I have a fairly popular social media following. I've worked really hard to cultivate a community in a corner of the internet called "book twitter" -- giving out free advice, helping people get published, etc. When everything went down, I explained what was going on and posted my ko-fi and venmo on my twitter and instagram, figuring some of the people I've helped might chip in ten bucks or something. I didn't feel great about it, but things have been really tough lately, and we're in emergency mode.
The next day, boyfriend's mom called him and said that I make her sick, that asking for money is unethical, that I'm an embarrassment to her friends and family. It was insane. It was so awful that it sent my boyfriend into a full-grade panic attack mental-breakdown so intense that 911 was called. His parents got there and were immediately cold to me. After everything calmed down, I followed them outside and said I felt like things had been weird, and for my boyfriend's sake we should all talk at some point and clear the air. His stepdad immediately turned bright red and said ever since we started dating, my boyfriend has changed for the worst. (He has? A chronic? Illness? And we are in a pandemic? Maybe he's a little depressed?) It was just insane. I tried to politely explain I only care about helping him -- I currently am paying our rent, our grocery bills, managing most of the cooking and cleaning, etc, and it's fine, because I love him, and that's what people do. I said that the only thing I want in this world is for him to get better and be happy.
His dad told me that because I have a brain injury and my boyfriend is sick, we should break up, and that maybe we can date again when we're healthy.
They left, and then the next day, called my boyfriend and said they thought he was in immediate danger because they thought i was poisoning him.
My boyfriend told them they're crazy, but didn't know what to do. We figured if he went there for a few days to show them hey guys, I'm not being poisoned, I just have an incredibly hard to treat chronic illness, they'd chill out. Instead, last night, they admitted they never thought he was being poisoned, they just don't think we're a good fit and they wanted him away from me. They basically spent two hours telling him that I'm awkward when I'm over there (they refuse to talk to me?), that they think it's weird that I write and post about books featuring lesbians (the characters are a whole range of LGBTQ; I am bisexual, I am going to write LGBTQ characters), that I am too "woe is me" on social media (I regularly go viral for making jokes about my cats so...lol). His dad said I'm a mentally ill girl with baggage from a broken home. It sounds like they decided a long, long time ago I wasn't right for their son, and everything I do is being viewed through a twisted lens.
My boyfriend feels horrible. I've heard and witnessed him stand up for me multiple times, but they're not budging, and he keeps saying they have good intentions, which at this point, is hard for me to believe.
I'm completely at a loss here. I love my boyfriend so much it scares me; he's my best friend. But it's Christmas, and I'm alone, because they pulled this on Christmas eve and now I can't see him or his family. I'm sitting here staring at the gifts I bought his sister feeling like an idiot. This is my worst nightmare. All I've ever wanted was to marry into a family that would embrace me; instead, they're determined to hate me.
I was willing to try before, but at this point, I feel like I'm owed an apology I'm never going to get. And I am incredibly hurt and embarrassed. I don't know what to do.
I'm sorry this was so long. Again -- I would really, really appreciate any and all advice, because I can't go to my own parents. Thank you so much, and Merry Christmas, if you celebrate.
Update: Wow, thank you so, so, so much for such an incredible responsible. I am touched & blown away, & have burst into tears a few times reading the support in some of these replies. I appreciate all of you.
I ended up going to a friend’s yesterday for Christmas, so I wasn’t alone. My boyfriend had planned on coming to see me but I told him I needed time & space to think because I was very hurt and confused.
He told me that ever since he left, he’s basically been telling his parents they should be ashamed of themselves for acting like fucking lunatics and essentially bullying a girl they never bothered to get to know. He said his parents basically spent the whole day crying (lol) and basically all they’ve done is sit down & talk about their misconceptions of me while my boyfriend corrects them. He plans to go to therapy & set hard boundaries with them.
I ended up having a very frank conversation with him. I told him I loved him, but that I had already lived through one abusive figure in my life, and I wasn’t interested in doing it again. I told him this can never happen again. I can live with his parents not liking me; but I expect him to shut them down the next time they try this. He’s basically respecting every boundary & concern & hurt I voiced.
Here’s the thing — I have many faults, but I’m a resilient girl. This has nothing on what my mom put me through. The last relationship before this was one was with a guy I dated for five years. I caught him cheating on me and didn’t hesitate. I kicked him out and never looked back, even though I couldn’t afford my rent at the time. I made it work. I can cut and run again if I need to.
My boyfriend knows I will walk away. He knows I deserve better. I love him so, so much — but I will not be an emotional punching bag for his insecure, fucked up family. They can go sit in their Mcmansion and drink themselves to death if it bothers them that their son loves some quirky author girl for all I care.
Right now I just have to focus on finding a place to live. No matter what happens, I’ll be okay.
I want to thank you all again for your advice, concern, and kindness. It truly means the world, and hearing so many strangers validate my feelings was exactly what I needed. Thank you, sincerely.
xoxo
-B

Will0fthePeople's EXTENSIVE Challenge Recap week 7

GREETING EARTHLINGS,
I'm back and I'm ready to rock exactly 13 of you luck reddit users with my completely unbiased summary of last weeks shenanigans. Quick insight to how I write these, I take notes when I do my first watch of stuff I think - foreshadowing etc. and then do the write up around this time of the week with the full episode on stop and start. So if I think somethings significant or have an opinion I'll only mention it if I've included it in my first watch notes. (to make the summary seem live I guess?) ANYWAY. Last weeks summary: https://www.reddit.com/MtvChallenge/comments/l6dpl0/will0fthepeoples_extensive_challenge_recap_week_6/
And without further ado, week 7:
The recap has me BRICKING IT. Teresa my queen (I’m not biased I’m just in charge) is in deep **** and by proxy Jay, who just wants to do competing and things. “The Killers are home” says Queen Kam. RIGHT. I’m putting my foot down. Until further notice no more contestant generated nicknames. Frankly, it just makes me look lazy.
“The double agent scorecard is a big fat F” Devin lets us know that angering that many teams was pretty stupid. I’ll be honest, I think it could be a smart move, but only if the subsequent manoeuvring is smart - unfortunately I don’t think Jayresa have it in them to get it right. We will see. (Also interesting note, Devin is clearly the narrator of this season which is surprising given I think half the community thought we might have seen the last of him.)
“A swing and a miss, a swing and a miss” The big bad wolf tells Jay with Cori in tow. I don’t want to insult their intelligence, but I think the world knows that Jay wasn’t trying to get rid of them. More sensibly Cori and the Wolf point out that if it had been a guys day then it would have been the two of them. Valid - and Jay acknowledges that “he was putting them at risk”. Cori does a pitiful confession complaining he can’t trust anyone. Given his best friend literally sacrificed himself for him last season I’m going to offer him zero sympathy points at all.
Quasimodo (Nam) says “Jay is my closest friend in here, he has a target on his back, this is really bad to see, really bad to see”. It’s a confessional but it’s such an earnest cry for help I nearly tear up. Have yourself 200 points I think I love you Nam. “Jay it’s just common courtesy” LeROY companies to Jay. I’m sorry but I’ve watched every season since 15 and common courtesy has had little to do with multiple seasons. LeROYs alliance in WOTW2 would regularly blindside players and throw their own US team in to further their goals. Teresa, piles in, tells them “this was my move”. The boys don’t know what to say, they seem perplexed someone has the Ordacity to interrupt their merciless verbal execution of Jay. “Get over it” says Teresa. I agree. Jay also owns it in confessional “I don’t owe anybody an apology”.
Queen Kam is doing her complaining, in her confessional she looks GREAT (short hair vibes it’s cool). She lets the audience know she plans to throw in Jayresa again and again and again - which besides being impractical for the sake of the gold scull twist, it’s also just weirdly vindictive. (Can you tell this mafioso vibe makes me feel uncomfortable - the only points I’ve given out are too Nam!) Teresa tells us that a day in the challenge house is many in the real world and that Jay just needs to lay low. So, a) I think she underestimates how much KamRoy want her head and b) I don’t think she has the calm vibes to pull this off - sorry Teresa I still love you.
Morning time and Fuzzy bunny and Teresa are chatting. “What’s everyone crying about” bunny says. We all agree. Teresa throws out the Darell name and Bunny is on board, knowing full well how solid he is in finals. This made the edit so clearly this will come up later. JUDAS is chatting to Cori and he’s trying for the apology. “Sometimes I come across as arrogant and Cocky” nah JUDAS you literally tell everyone you can take them, you ARE cocky. Still, he talks about being introverted and struggling to talk to people and it’s not a million miles off what we see on screen so I at least think this is an honest attempt at dialogue. The big bad wolf comes in with a confessional “You CANT trust him, he’s screwed you over”. Cori is… half sold.. but also not really. I was about to reward JUDAS with a half point or maybe even a pat on the head when he pipes up with “I feel like I’m a misunderstood player in this game” NO JUDAS, you literally physically assaulted your friend and eliminated him from the game despite claiming you could beat anyone in an elimination. Devin, being Devin uses this to bring up the sneaky Big Bother alliance and how he wants to break them up.
Challenge time! they’re on a beach. There’s a helicopter. The Challengers get needlessly excited. The challenge is called Ariel Takedown. 5 contestants on a Cargo net suspended from the Copter over the sea. The last challenge remaining wins - if there are teams with equal numbers of wins it’s down to time (To be clear I hate challenges like this that reward speed of win as the winning always feels random - anyone remember back to the Rivals era when Daily wins felt…. won? Like certain teams were able to dominate dailies because the challenges actually measure skill and physicality. Clear MTV don’t. ANYWAY - as a spectator sport this should be good viewing, buckle up.
“Y’all gotta go in the water so: goodbye” says Queen Kam. 50 points, no explanation required. So it’s: Kaycee, Kam, Nany, Aneesa and The Eagle. Not much physical happens but Aneesa is off. The Eagle is somewhat persuaded off. Kaycee “wants to let Kam know” that she’s strong and takes her out. Nany and her crush Kaycee are left. Nany pretends that she has a masterplan to toss Kaycee but then rather predictably Kaycee just tosses her.
The MEN are here. Darell is very scared - for those out of the loop he’s always hated height challenges. It’s Devin, Kyle, Fessy, Darell and Nam. Literally nobody does anything. They all realise that if they do nothing they are all equally disadvantages. Nam is very sad about this. Teresa is pursuading her allies that because the challenge is speed based it makes sense for people to jump off and give a quick win to someone. Amber B, YES SHE EXISTS, is having none of it and wants to keep control. Amber M, Lolo, Gabby, Teresa and Amber B are up. One by one Teresa persuades them to jump. Amber is like nah, and Amber and Teresa have to go at it physically. it looks pretty tight but eventually Teresa gets her off using the momentum of the net hitting the water.
Final up, it’s **Jay, LeROY, Mechie, Fuzzy Bunny and and ANNOY******^TM . Jay goes straight for LeROY and is going at him full throttle. The rest of the boys are doing fuck all. Mechie falls off of his own volition. Jay despite valiant efforts fails to knock ROY off. Challenge over. TJ Acknowledges that Jayresa and LeROY and Kaycee were great and he calls out the boys for the simple fact that they “F***ing sucked”. 1 Second separated our two top teams. And… (Jay in a confessional refers to Teresa as Mother Teresa the holy one, have yourself 100 points) and… LeROY and Kaycee win. “one second… ONE SECOND” says Jay. I feel you bro I feel you. He knows he’s screwed.
Back at the house Teresa isn’t a happy bunny with Amber B. Nany - not to be confused with Tera's arch nemesis - is interviewing Amber and tells us she likes Amber B. It’s important to note that Nany - not to be confused with Teresa's arch nemesis - likes anyone who crosses Teresa and it’s hilarious. We’re in the dome club. Teresa is cutting a lonely figure. Gabby tells Teresa she thought the plan was to throw in Darell. This sets off Teresa and she’s on a rampage, she has a go at Darell then Amber. It’s Messy. *Flashbacks to when she told Jay to lay low*. THIS is the Teresa I tune in to watch. Devin correctly notes that this is pretty bad news for Jay.
Devin, classic Devin, goes to poke the bear and tells Judas “We don’t want you to win” and The big bad wolf double teams straight in to wind him up. We’re back in the house and Fessy is drunk and trying to intimidate. Devin and the Big Bad Wolf can’t stop laughing. AMAZINGLY **ANNOY******^TM breaks it up and relocates JUDAS to their room. **ANNOY******^TM enters the room and Devin tells him he’s now allowed in because he was “mean to me”. Having literally just calmed down JUDAS, **ANNOY******^TM throws water on the big Bad Wolf. words are thrown. “Don’t bother, he’s just a big man child” Fuzzy bunny advises the big bad wolf. *multiple CT fight flashbacks*, chuckle. Devin in the hallways asks if they can have an adult conversation and **ANNOY******^TM tells him he has 3 seconds to get away and having ignored the countdown Devin summarily gets a hard shove on to the couch. I mean, I’m calling it, if that push had been onto anything other than cushions, that’s an exitable offence. “Josh, I’m a layup but at least I own it, you’re a bigger lay up” says Devin in a confessional and earns an automatic 100 points for owning his layup status. It all quiets down and our angry challengers slip off to bed.
It’s morning and Kaycee is worried about her tempestuous alliance. She wants an “Alliance of Kaycees” no no no no, we can’t deal with those levels of boredom. Lose yourself 100 points Kaycee for trying to ruin this show. Devin apologises to Gabby for causing more stress than required. It’s suggested they are the alternate vote. Amber B and Teresa have patch things up chat with Jay in as witness. Teresa admits that only one conversation she’s had even mentioned Darell - one with Fuzzy Bunny and that it was “coffee banter”. Jay then suggests it must have been CT who spread it, “Yeah, I had the notes, I know what I was wearing, a Lulu lemon shirt between the hours of 9 and 10.” OMG this is iconic. 200 points to Teresa and the Laurel Stucky cosplay award. Teresa says she’s going to bring it up in deliberation. To what end I’m not sure.
Deliberation. Devin apologises.. interesting. Jay puts his plug in, that he doesn’t have a mastermind plan. The Killers are having none of it. Teresa goes straight at for Fuzzy Bunny. He isn’t pleased and uses his energy to shut her down. There’s a lot of mess, Kam and Darell accuse the girls of throwing the challenge. “Having a partner who’s trying to save me as much as Teresa’s trying to save me right now is super dope. But please stop” says Jay. Wisdom earns you 100 points young sir. I’M NOT BIASED OKAY. Queen Kam makes a clear argument that now LeROY is the double agent he gets to call the shots and that Teresa needs to accept that. 50 points. Lines are drawn. Teresa is having a wee confessional cry - mostly because of the Darell situation.
Voting time, some votes for Devin but mostly for Jay. Kaycee and LeROY learn that it’s… Jayresa going in. Having said that last week the Itty bitty small committee (IBSC) had the control of the game with Jayresa I now look stupid. That said: Amber M, The Eagle, Amber B and Gabby and their respective partners ALL vote in Jayresa in an attempt to protect Gabby. I said this at the start of the episode, but there WAS a way out of this, if Teresa had identified a target the IBSC wanted to vote in, and avoided all the name throwing, the distraction of Devin (aka forcing the Big Bother alliance to vote for him) would have left them an open goal to put in who they want. ANYWAY. Rant over. Jay is going in. LeROY is wondering if he should go in. It seems likely.
Rudolf is prepping Quasi that if LeROY doesn’t want to go in then he is the likely other candidate as Jay’s best bud. LeROY wants his scull and lets Kam know. Challenge Bingo +1 for a chess board making it into the shot. Queen Kam isn’t 100%.
Elimination time! and we’re down in the Crater. TJ gives the one and only warning for the physical altercation from last night. TJ lets the guys know that any guys that didn’t try in the Daily lose their votes for elimination…. I’m pretty sure that has no effect on the Elimination so I’m a bit nonplussed. “This challenge proves that the girls are braver and stronger and here to compete” says Nany - not to be confused with Teresa's arch nemesis. Fair play, 50 points gal. Jay and Teresa are down. “There’s two people responsible for my girlfriend getting her scull, so it’s only fair they be responsible for me getting my scull too” says LeROY (calling himself down) WHAT A SPEECH. Power move and 200 points. The elimination is the same as the girls elimination from week 1 “Fire escape” Where contestants hang from ropes off a beam and have to move themselves along the beam, over obstacles, to the end and back. This is twice as long as the girls elimination and for those out of the loop it’s identical to an elimination LeROY bossed in Exes 2. That said, Jay is a climber and should also be his sort of thing.
This is going to be big. AND WE’RE GO. They are BOTH fast, like fasttt, and it’s neck and neck as far as I can tell until half way through the leg out. In classic challenge fashion the edit is super stop start and confusing (Challenge produces lose 100 points) and it’s hard to get a read. It looks like maybe LeROY is shading it? Ad yep, he hits the end and half way with a solid 2m lead. At which LeROY f***ing MOVES. He is soooooooo fast. and Jay is no slouch. Having pushed the lead to 3m LeROY briefly gets stuck on an obstacle, but having cleared that gets his win with a good 2m clearance. IMPRESSIVE. “HOW? I was hauling ass” says Jay. and rightly so. I think if Jay had competed against anyone else he’d have won and he knows it. They both know how good that was and Jay leans in and tells LeROY he wants him to win the whole thing. 500 Points to LeROY for being exceptional.
TJ in his goodbye tells Jay that he expects him to be back. Jay in his exit interview tells us “I just want to compete” and he sheds some tears. Respect, there’s a reason we like him. LeROY chooses despite wanting to switch to Kam to stick with Kaycee and promises to get her a scull. Cori and Teresa are therefore together. “Welcome to the cursed side” says Cori, she’s so very aware that Cori has so far burned through all his partners.
So despite my dislike for the slightly mafioso turn in this episode it was pretty solid. I promise I’ll get back to being slightly less biased and awarding more points next time. As ever It’s been a pleasure, Will0fthePeople xoxo
EDIT: dyslexia

Transition can be really, really good! (or "How I learned to pretend like I wasn't depressed and love the bomb") Part 2.2. Or part 4. whatever... It's a continuation of my way too long story. With pictures and stuff.

Welcome back to my rambling, aphasic story about my transition!! Here’s the previous part (which also links to the previous, previous parts). So where were we? It’s May something or rather. There was Something about me being bi and how I’d discovered that boys and girls are both hot. And there was this whole thing about me trying to deal with that and how I even got to that point. Well not to skip ahead too much, but I am so very bi. Or pan or whatever. I like bi as my label, mostly because I LOVE the bi flag. Bi pride!! Anyway, I think boys are cute. And girls are cute. And enbies are cute. And just… everyone. Everyone is cute. Especially the person reading this: you’re adorable and amazing. I just honestly don’t care at all about the gender of the person I like, only that I like them, and they are a consenting adult person. But I was still figuring all that out back then; just dipping one terrified toe in so to speak. Also, I have to get back into a sort of bad headspace to write this. In May I was really falling deeper into depression and not pushing away from it. I was very confused by the way I felt about my sexuality “shifting” and was still trying to figure out what that all meant. I try to make it all seem fun, but for serious it was rough for me and a lot of the things I did and thought were influenced by how depressed I was. Sorry if that’s a bit of a downer. Just hold out with me till about August and things get better, I promise.
So, hopping back in, I was rather recently separated and in a position to be dating again (at least physically, mentally is a WHOLE ‘nother thing). And I was at least tangentially aware that I was probably, maybe, attracted to men as well as women. That being said, I really wanted to be alone forever and wallow in misery. But my wife actually encouraged me to make profiles on Tinder and Bumble. I was heavily of the opinion that I was manish, undatable and unlikable. It had taken me AGES to find and have all of my previous relationships, so I figured that trend would continue. It took me a bit to feel comfortable with it all, but eventually I gave in and we made some profiles together. I put in that I was looking for women, of course, and (on a lark) men too. I was met with… mixed success... Okay, not so mixed, lol. I got SO many matches!! I was so very not prepared for it… Lots and lots of guys and a handful of girls.
So I’m going to take a quick moment here to talk about some of the guys that contacted me. I’m going to call them chasers because that feels like the most appropriate name to me. Yeah, diving right into that controversial shit today. Cool. For reference, I don’t mean this to be political or controversial, but I know there’s some differing opinions and thoughts out there about this topic. So let me make it clear that these are my opinions. I have never claimed to be either right, or a good person. Maybe I’m a shite person (I make that exact argument several times in fact), and my opinions are garbage. But They’re still my garbage opinions and my shite personality, so I’ll just have to deal with the fact that that’s who I am. /shrug. Anyway; chasers. Fuck chasers. Those people never even saw me as human, and it really messed with me at first. No… it still messes with me. Their desire was for me as essentially an inanimate object. They just wanted to fuck me like I was some sex doll, and then throw me away. I was a disposable, subhuman thing to them, good only for fulfilling their imagined pornographic fantasies and desires. And some, I assume, were good people.
I got contacted by so many guys that wanted me to top them. Btw, that, in and of itself, is not a terrible thing mind you. Not a thing I like or will ever do, but by no means bad. That’s exclusively down to preference and comfort. It’s just that these guys did not actually give any fucks about me as a person, despite how it seemed at first, they just wanted me for that one part of me. like I was a porn video they could get off to once then discard. Literally all they cared about was the fact that I had boobs and a girldick, and that they wanted that girldick used on them. In their asses, presumably. A thing about those guys; a lot of them seem really sweet at first. They seemed so interested in me and so genuine! They wanted to know how things were going, and they were SO complimentary. It was really the first time anyone had acted head over heels for me, so I was a bit entranced. But inevitably, we’d start texting about more… explicit things (because they led me there). And eventually, they’d ask me about my OEM equipment. Did I have my **** and would I use it on them? Was I ****? Would I *** on their ****? Could I bend them over and **** them in their ***? Or let them **** my ****?? Needless to say, I was creeped out. I was wildly unprepared for this at first… It takes some work to figure out their tack. To figure out what they’re into and where their interest lies. Once you see it though, the pattern is clear as day; There’s a preamble of quick conversation where they ask you surface level questions, but never anything too intense or deep… nothing designed to really know you as a person, just what they think is the minimum small talk they can engage in before shifting to whether I’ve had “THE SURGERY” yet. Then all they care about is sex and they only want me if I’ll use my girldick on them. (Okay, I’ll stop posting memes. Sorry. Kinda.) But If you push back, tell them you need time, that you don’t do one night stands, don’t top, or that you want to get to know them more before talking about that stuff, they ghost you. Because to these creeps I was NOT a person, and any amount of continued effort was too much.
For however disgusted I was by the way some of these guys treated me, I did figure out that I was very, very into men. Provided, of course, they were willing to engage with me under MY conditions, and not some weird porn fantasy. Ugh, again, fuck chasers. But in and amongst the garbage chasers, I did actually find a few decent guys and gals. I will very briefly and in much less detail than is necessary or right, talk about Tyler (not his real name). Ty was a decent fellow and seemed interested in me as a person. Mostly at least. We had a few good conversations on tinder and then decided to meet up for a cup of coffee. Gods, I was sooooo nervous!! Like crawling out my skin!! This was my first date with a man… and my first date as a girl. Omfg I was like all over the place!!! He turned out to be a sweetheart and a gentleman, honestly. He bought me a cup of coffee and we went walking for a while. After a few hours he asked me if I wanted to go hang out at his place for a bit and “play video games”… Yeah, that’s gotta be code, right? So we went over to his place and… he made me watch him play Fallout 76 for like an hour and a half. No lie. I’d have never thought that anyone would want to subject a date to that… but here I was, watching this reasonably sweet and pretty cute guy play one of the worst videogames ever. For HOURS. I don’t have enough faces or enough palms to palm my face enough times to properly express to you all how bad and stupid it was. Now eventually he kissed me and we did… stuff and things that I thoroughly enjoyed. Or I guess I did stuff and things to him that we both thoroughly enjoyed. I guess I’m bi and a whore. Good to know.
I don’t have a good segue here… I can try though I guess. Uhhh… So speaking of Tyler, and how I dated him for like 2 weeks then unceremoniously dumped him, it was June! See? Awful. I don’t really want to talk about my dating life too much, but I also briefly dated a girl I’ll call Abby. Abby dumped me after like 2 weeks much like I dumped Tyler, and for similar reasons, so I guess karma evens out (sort of like how my Karma count on reddit evens out from all the downvotes I get arguing with TERFs in news or thisubisnotabouttransissues.) I guess I should be all introspective and serious again now. As a recap, it was June, less than 2 months after my wife had ended our 10 year-long marriage, and I had blown through 2 relationships already. Clearly, I was not ready for this kind of thing. I am about to be scathing in my review of myself: I was relying on other people to be my source of happiness. Tyler was too into the idea of me to be actually into me and so I didn’t feel validated enough, and I was too clingy with Abby and demanded far more of her emotional resources and attention than was fair. At that moment I needed someone who could shower me in genuine attention so that I could focus all of my internal insecurities onto an outside source and use that as my primary fount of happiness. Which, in case it’s not super obvious, is just a really terrible thing to do to someone.
So faced with this situation where I desperately wanted external validation, but clearly could not handle the responsibility of that, I made the only decision I could: be alone. Oh, and cut my bangs. Btw, that’s my real hair. I was wearing a wig in public at that point still, but this was my real hair I cut. Anyway, I turned off my dating apps ending my brief experiment. I needed to figure out who the hell I was. Ugh, I need to wax poetic again. Is that getting tiring??? I bet it is. Well, bear with me a few more times while I pretend myself to be a Greek philosopher. I had to figure out who I was without relating that self-perception to other people. Who am I in a vacuum? If I am alone and have no one to bounce off of, what is the… me that exists there? Cause if my problem is that I seek too much external validation, then the solution is that I need to find internal validation, and then project that outwardly as confidence and leverage that into making better relationships; both romantic and platonic. So I tried to do what I had done before and kind of look back at the most recent save file for my base identity and work from there. Except I’d corrupted my save files by modding in the gender switch, and now I couldn’t use any of that data. Crud.
I’m not gonna lie, I felt lost. Like REALLY lost. I was this essentially new person who I barely knew and I had just lost a huge portion of my identity with the separation. I had been referring to my marriage and wife as “Anchors”, because I realized just how much of myself I’d rooted in her and our relationship. That and being a mother were pretty much all I had at that point in my life, so when I lost her and the relationship (and the 2 more that followed) I was kind of screwed, existentially speaking. My problem was that I was essentially floating free. No anchors anywhere in sight. I’d need to make a new one… Or several.
I think that this is a good time to bring up my friends, though honestly they’re really more like sisters. I’m going to use their real names because I love them and they deserve all the recognition that a minor reddit post will bring them (plus I specifically asked all of them and they all consented): Julie (and her wife Luna), Saoirse (pr. Se’er- Shuh), Olivia(Liv), Alexandria(Lexi), and Aeris. Anyway, through a series of ridiculous coincidences I met all of them and we formed a group together. All being trans and in somewhat different stages of transition, we’ve been able to help each other and talk through anything that any one of us is dealing with. They are a friend group, therapy group, meme exchange, venting channel, political discussion group, and other stuff. I’ve leaned on them a lot. When I said earlier that I talked to my chosen family, it’s these girls I’m talking about. They are amazing and I love them all. I’m bringing them up here because I think that it’s easier to do this now so that I can reference them all later. I don’t have anything else specific to say at the moment. Just that my girls exist, and I love them xoxo.
So… Anchors. I needed to figure out what in my life made me, me. I decided that I would take this in two steps. Step 1: figure out who I am alone (I’d need at least a few months to do this). And step 2: figure out who I am in relation to other people (my girls, mentioned above, helped out with this as well as future dating partners). I started with just focusing on step 1 by itself, but have moved on to doing both more or less concurrently. I want to be able to pass down some answers from on high about how I figured out my existentiality and reached nirvana, but I’m just not that cool. I think that I’ve gotten closer to figuring myself out irrespective of my relationship to other people, and I am learning a LOT about my “self” as it relates to others right now. About my interdependencies and self actualization, and blah blah blah. This is all just a sort of self-discovery, right? Btw, doing this in month or 2 is a laugh. This is gonna take me years, I think. Maybe when I’m done I can go be a famous you-tuber passing along my proto-philosophical wisdom to the masses ala our Dark Mistress Contrapoints. But for now, I’ll settle for a middling reddit post.
Anyway, let’s move on. I don’t have any answers about my existential crises for now, but just know that I was kind of floating blindly and trying to figure myself out. June is also the anniversary of my coming out. June 22 specifically. I’d left my ex the letter on my computer exactly one year prior on that day. She’d later given me this really cute print out of the position of the planets in our solar system that day. My first day being honest with myself and her. I’d framed it and hung in the hallway. I took it down when we separated because of what it represented to me and how it had felt like this amazing thing before and now felt… tainted I guess. I still have it down. I’m not sure if I’ll ever appreciate it the way I used to, but I will absolutely acknowledge just how sweet that picture is. I did not feel like celebrating my coming out day this year… Maybe I’ll feel like it next year. I felt the same way a month later on my 1 year hormone anniversary on July 28, 2020. I just didn’t want to celebrate it at the time. I hope that my 2 year anniversaries are significantly better.
My wife ended up moving out in mid-June or so too. She went to go live with her mom and we started to work out a way to split up our time with the kids. She was planning on doing one of those tech boot-camps to give her some new workplace skills and move into a better career (a thing that she has since done and enjoyed a lot). But the gist here is that I was now alone at home for extended periods of time for the first time since before I’d met my wife about 12 years prior. I was ALWAYS with her or kids or something. I had an hour or two here or there, maybe a day or weekend, but not like this. Not LIVING alone. It was crushing in its emptiness… What I really needed to be able to get more human contact in. What I needed was to be able to go out and have fun. See my friends. Get a little drunk and give out my number at a bar. Buuuuutt… COVID. I couldn’t really even leave the house. Ugh, what a year 2020 was… In lieu of being able to go out though, I did the very next best thing, which I still do to this day, and talked regularly with my girlfriends.
I think maybe one of the best ways to make sure that you can stay grounded and not get lost in that despair is a good friend group. And in times like this, that can be just so important to have that contact and companionship. Going through all of that turmoil and discontent alone probably would have pushed me to a different result… Having my girls to talk to and bounce off of was a really great thing. There were a few times when I would talk to them late into the night about whatever was ailing us! It was cathartic and helpful in a way that few things are. There was one night I remember distinctly that Julie, Luna and I all stayed up till like 1 in the morning drinking wine and champagne together over discord till we were all drunk and rolling around on the floor laughing together (me alone in my empty house and them in their place in California). They are some of my best friends and I have no idea what I would do with out them!!! We would all of us meet up at least once a week too, and have a zoom call. Just talk for hours and discuss the problems of the world, our individual problems, HRT, emotions, good stuff, bad stuff, stupid stuff, whatever. It was, and is, a blast and something I look forward to every week. Get yourself some girls like this. Trust me.
But as you may be able to tell, I have this whole sadness that’s still sort of worming it’s way into my life here. I was still not on my anti-depressants at this point, that wouldn’t happen till August, and I was struggling to cope. My friends and my kids were keeping me around and engaged, but I was not doing well. Everything felt so suffocating. And I was avoiding my therapist too. I’d had one session with her in like early May and was now verging on 2 months of not talking to her. Not a great thing to do when you feel this bad btw. And then it was Father’s day... Do I celebrate Father’s Day? I’d had people tell me happy Mother’s Day, and that felt appropriate, though perhaps not… deserved? I was super confused about what I should do here… We decided to kind of half celebrate it… We went up into wilderness and did a hiking trail. It was nice!! I just felt so… weird about it all. There’s this super interesting shift between celebrating Father’s Day last year to feeling like that’s inappropriate this year. Ugh, it feels so jumbled up… Mother’s Day, Father’s day… blah. There should just be 2 nongendered parent’s days. All I felt was like I was in between and didn’t deserve either day anyway, so that made it even worse.
There’s I think a lot to address in that last paragraph… See, there was this period where I felt like I didn’t deserve to be called a mother, or even a woman. Like it was something I had to earn. It was this feeling like I had to be worthy of being a woman and that I was somehow falling short. That’s crap btw. I “deserved” it, whatever that even means, whether I thought so at the time or not. I am a mother through and through and I do deserve to be celebrated on Mother’s Day. I am a woman in every sense and that is not something that has requirements other than just being one. Like, being a woman is a state of being, one which I am in, and not something that is a question of desert. People simply are their gender. TERFs and other pieces of shit contribute to the notion that there is something unworthy about trans women. That they are women* and not just women. I‘ve even rather recently argued with a TERF who basically told me this exact thing. And fuck her. Don’t internalize any of that bullshit if you can help it. Whoever you are that’s reading this, you are valid, and amazing and uniquely you!! Never lose sight of that!!
Anyway, back to me being an upside-down depressed girl. I was sinking into this boredom and malaise and I wanted out of it. I needed to do something. I needed to get out and be reckless and try something interesting and new. I needed to be alone… kind of. I just needed something to change and get me away from all of the depression and melancholy that I was wallowing in. So after going around on a few different things, I decided that I was going to go to California! To Napa, specifically, and to go get drunk for a few days with my girlfriends. That felt like JUST the thing I needed. Girlfriends and wine. God I’m such a basic white girl. I did some research to try and get the emptiest airport I could so that I could avoid as much COVID as possible, we got some hotel rooms, scheduled a driver in wine country and we were off!!
Primarily I met up with Julie and her wife Luna. We had rooms in the same hotel and spent a few days together in Napa. We went to nice restaurants and sat outside all done up in our best makeup and prettiest dresses. Everywhere we went we were greeted with “Hello ladies,” which I thoroughly appreciated (proper gendering euphoria ftw, yo). It was a BLAST!! We went to 4 different wineries, all with something different and unique to offer us. We spent way too much money on bottles of wine. We absolutely spent the entire day, and then some, pretty drunk. A waiter lightly hit on me in a rooftop bar. It was amazing!! I feel like I could write a whole thing on just my few days in Napa. Maybe I will for my poorly reviewed self-published book that I’ll release in 2025.
The following day, Julie and I drove back to her and Luna’s place (which was also in CA) while Luna took their car back. We tried to visit Saoirse, who was on the way, but unfortunately she was having a super rough week and wasn’t really up to it. We dropped off some wine and well wishes, waving at her through the window, and continued on. At Julie and Luna’s we played video games and ate wonderful homemade food and generally relaxed. It was really nice. I was SOOOOO not ready to go home at the end of my 3 days. I’m not sure what else to say here honestly… I probably could, but like, do I keep just going on about it? Nah, seems good to stop here. And it was definitely what I needed. A distraction, and comfort. A way to let go of all the crap I was dealing with, even for a few days. Forgetting about all the tribulations and the hectic slowness of my life. Back to the grind I guess! I came back to my home and just sort of sunk back into things. I want to tell more interesting stories about things that happened, but when you’re depressed there just aren’t any. I was just sort of… there. I was able to get out of bed every day and I didn’t die due to self-negligence. That’s really all I can say here. I was playing a lot of FFXIV too. That was fun at least.
My one year HRT anniversary came and went with little fan-fare. In my journal I apologized to myself for how trash my entry that day was. It was lamenting the fact that I had nothing good or inspirational to say. And that, plus the fact that I was slipping back into a heavy malaise, is what drove me to FINALLY call my therapist again and set up a new appointment. I talked to her and I cried through the entire session. I told her that I felt inhuman. That I wasn’t in control of my emotions and I was sad all the time. That I needed to be severely distracted or drunk to not feel lonely and awful. That I wished I was dead. That I needed help. She gave me a recommendation for anti-depressants, and I set an appointment with my GP that same day. I really should have done that a LOT sooner. I’m going to repeat the lines that I put in the previous section discussing this. They bear repeating:
For anyone who needs to hear this; YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! And it is NOT your “fault” that you are trans. There is no fault and no blame to be had anywhere. Your existence is not “wrong” and you are not “bad” for existing. You are being true to yourself and working on being the best you that you can be. And that’s exactly what we should all do. Work to be the best self that we can be!! Find a place where who you are and what you’re doing makes you happy. That’s what’s important. But please, please, please, if you’re having a rough go of things, don’t be afraid to reach out to friends, family, therapists or dumb bitches on reddit giving you unwanted lectures about your mental health. (here’s the number and website for the Trans Lifeline, in case anyone needs this right now: (877) 565-8860 / https://translifeline.org) And legit, please feel free to DM me if you want.
August was a big month. I stopped wearing my wig because I finally felt like my hair was long and femme enough to present femme reliably. I’d get extensions in September, but we can talk about that later. August is also when I started taking Prozac. And I do want to talk a bit about anti-depressants and the stigmatization that I think many of us still buy into. One of my girls was feeling pretty down for a while and she told me that she didn’t want to start on anti-depressants because the HRT should be enough. Let me say this very, very clearly – Being trans and being depressed are not the same thing - You can be trans and not depressed and you be depressed and not trans. Or, and this is important, you can be both. They are NOT mutually exclusive. When I first started on HRT I felt AMAZING. It really did lift my depression! And for a bit, for months really, I felt like I didn’t need to take anything else because the HRT should be enough. I bought into that crap too. But the more depressed I got, the more I realized that my HRT had nothing to do with depression. Depression is usually to do with a lack of sufficient serotonin (more or less). It has nothing to do with primary sex hormones (I mean… it does… but lets not get TOO into endocrinology and neurology here). And please, don’t get me wrong: HRT is a life saver!! It made me feel so much better and more human!! But it did not cure or treat my depression. That was independent of my transness and required a different treatment. Prozac, to be specific.
It took a few weeks on my anti-depressants before I started to feel better. I’d been crying hard every single day and was totally losing myself. At first, it sort of turned me off… I wasn’t sad, but I certainly wasn’t happy. I was a little… nothing. I didn’t like that, but I kept on. For like 2 weeks I couldn’t cry. I almost stopped because I wasn’t willing to give up my emotions, but they did return. And here’s what I felt when I started to feel what I’d describe as normal again. I found that I had a bit of a volume knob on my emotions now. Not like complete control, but it was like I could tune it between the nearest 2 notches or so. Like if I was feeling 9 sad, I could let it creep up to an 11 if I wanted or hold it back to a 7 or so. I still felt it all!! I just had some control over it. That really let me understand just how badly I was letting my emotions run my life. I had lost control and it took regaining some of it to see just how much. E is a ride!! It’s sort of like riding on the air drifts around those huge dragons in Breath of the Wild. I was just drifting along, running out of stamina, losing control and about to careen into the spikes on it’s back. Riding the dragon is such a trip. It takes practice and determination, and sometimes, help. Don’t be afraid to ask for that help.
Alright, I think I’ve imposed on all y’alls time enough for today! Know that things start getting better from here on out. This is more or less the end of this depressive phase I was going through. Not to say that things are rose petals and rainbow poptarts after this, but the Prozac saved my life and really turned things around for me. By September I was trying to date again. I have a one hell of a story about a wonderful woman I met whom I’ll call River, both as a Dr. Who reference and because it’s a bit of a pun on her real name. I met a few guys too. I made new friends and did more interesting things. Relationships ended. Elections happened. I got an RTX 3080. I think on the next entry I should probably get pretty well caught up to real time so that I can take another 9 month long break from writing this. I hope all you wonderful folks have the best weekend or week or day or whatever. Be happy and go forth into the world with confidence and vigor!! Be yourselves and be your best self. Bye-bye lovelies!!

29 [F4M] USA/CST - Are you ready for this wild ride?

Will0fthePeople's EXTENSIVE Challenge Recap week 5 🔥🔥🔥

Greetings Earthlings,
I'm back and after a new low in readership I'm back with a bang. (Literally nothing has changed). I've been in hospital having a wee tumour removed from my left sinus. Is the main benefit of this the increased air circulation in my nose? No. It's the time off work I've had to get this out more on time and with a few more details. I will be tallying the points totals so far in the comments and linking my previous write ups at the bottom so keep an eye out 🤞. Without further ado, my detailed summary of last weeks episode of the challenge:
And we are back! Cori tells us he’s lost two friends but he’s going to be smart - but also chat to JUDAS (Fessy). Wise man Darrell confirms in his wisdom that Cori has every right to go at him. “You know why that move was made” says JUDAS - yes we do JUDAS, because you’re a punk. After referring to Nelly as a friend Cori quickly and rightly tells him to “stop using that term friend”. “I would never say his name bro” says JUDAS as if that’s any worse than physically assaulting our boy Nelly. “Oooooooh FESSYS in trubbbleeeee” exclaims Fussy Bunny. Excellent confessional work from the old timer.
Essentially JUDAS comes up with a load of punk ass excuses and Cori calls him out for only thinking about himself. Have 200 points Cori.
ANNOY^TM gets involved calling JUDAS selfish. As ranty and stupid as ANNOY^TM sounds he’s essentially saying - sure, I don’t like eliminations but I wanted something physical because I’m big. Which is kind of true. JUDAS points out that Nelly is NOT an easy physical win. Neither are correct and both are chatting out of their asses (We know from previous info ANNOY^TM had in part been campaigning not to go in and we also know he’d at least mentioned to JUDAS he wants something physical). “Am I a target?” asks Kaycee, I’m not sure, but your two biggest allies definitely are at this point.
“Obviously we’re targeted because we’re so called the weakest girls” tells Amber M to other Amber, The Eagle and Gabby. Gabby articulates how ignored/undervalued she feels by Tory and Aneesa. Amber M makes a plan: to get out an experienced player. The Eagle is on board - she wants rid of Tory. Amber M names them (Amber B has now left the room because she is too tall for this) the Itty Bitty small Committee. I am A FAN. 300 points and the queens writ of naming to Amber M and 150 points to the other two gals.
Tory is apologising because she realises she’s fucked it. Correct. She didn’t realise JUDAS would switch. Has she not ready my summaries and not know he's called JUDAS?? Tory loses 50 points for being silly. Does anyone else find this Tory, Aneesa friendship weird and out of the blue?
Bunny and the Eagle are chatting. Eagle wants Tory. She wants to put her against Aneesa. Bunny enjoys the scheming. “Ooooooh TORIS IN TROUBLE” says Fuzzy Bunny in a confessional. Have 100 points for repeating the same line twice and it coming off both times. The big bad wolf acknowledges that Tory is pissing people off and that the Rookies are smart. Devin say’s “I’m going rogue”, weirdly happy to cut ties. The Chaos continues with Devin.
AND IT’s DAILY TIME. Enormous STUNNING waterfall. 100 further points to the nation of Iceland. “I’ve had some intel, and I have no choice to deactivate one of our agents” tells TJ to the group. Genuine surprise from me and the group. DAMN, it’s Nathalie, she needs to leave the game, WHY?? “This ends your time on this, season of the challenge but I’m positive we’ll see you in the future” TJ is being surprisingly forthrite with his admiration for Nat. I’m sad, but at least she get’s a proper sending off. Cori is gutted understandably to have lost one of the best female competitors.
“I have decided to trigger a security breach” says TJ. - having told us 3 agents leaving outside elimination is too much. WHO WE GETTING. It’s……. ASHLEY. TJ literally refers to her as Millionaire Mitchell which is hilarious. Cori rightly is skeptical, “Am I getting the puzzle queen or hurricane Ashley?” He asks us. Hopefully, both.
The Daily is “Agent down”. The girls will be stood on a platform hanging over the edge of the waterfall. The guys will race to pull 200m of rope through a hole in time to get hold of their partner before the platform they stand on falls. They will then hold their partners for as long as possible and the longest held will win the challenge. If the platform drops and they guys hasn’t yet pulled all the rope, the girl can try ad hold on long enough for the guy to come and get held.
Darrell tells us to google “Height shock” because he doesn’t want to go into it. Teresa is terrified of heights and Jay kisses her on the helmet. JAYRESA are ADORABLE. It’s Lio, Darrell, Jay, Bangin Bavarian, Devin and LeROY. Jay is first through the rope, NICE. 100 points. LeROY second through the rope, Bavarian third. Rudolf, says she isn't used to having to trust a man. Tory and Aneesa fall, Devin gives 0 fs. Gabby! Manages to stay on after the platform falls and Lio gets to her. Amber B falls. Lio tries his best but eventually drops. Teresa is super scared and Jay is just chill af. Rudolf is getting annoyed because she wants our Bavarian to try harder. Bavarian drops her. Jay just keeps holding her, which is impressive given how similar they are in weight. Eventually while switching grip they lose out and she falls.
The next heat is Cori and Millionire Mitchell, The Eagle and Fuzzy Bunny, Kyle and Queen Kam, ANNOY^TM and Nany, JUDAS and Kaycee and Mechie and Amber M. The Eagle is nervous and sort of whimpering. Bunny tells her to do her mean face and she just sort of whimpers louder <3. The Big Bad wolf kills it and is first through the rope. Cori is the only man not to get through the rope hilariously and Ashley falls. JUDAS drops Kaycee first. Hilarious. Queen Kam calls him out for it. Mechie then drops Amber, repeat - Mechie beat JUDAS. The Big Bad Wolf knows he’s beat and eventually drops. ANNOY^TM does that hilarious Big Bother thing where he’s like “CT you’re good, just drop”. Fuzzy bunny is having none of it and ANNOY^TM drops. He loses 100 points for being ridiculous.
“And the team that won by 5 seconds was, CT and Big T” says TJ. DAMN, I was rooting for Jayresa. 100 points to Jayresa and Fuzzy Bunny and the Eagle for good performances all round. The Eagle is straight in the house and in the house all extra, “You’re serving me dinner” she says to Jay. Wonderful. The Eagle tells us Aneesa is probably the prudent move for the house vote.
Bunny and the Eagle have a chat and he gives her the political reigns over their alliance. She looks SO GOOD. We’re in a dome and she’s set herself up a VIP table. RUDOLF of all people is referring to her as “The Queen”, she has a literal Olympian prescribing her royalty. If that doesn’t deserve 100 points I don’t know what does. The Itty Bitty Small Committee decide Tory will be too tough for the house vote and that Aneesa will be their target. One by one the house come up and pay her respects and compliments. A little snippet but she asks Darrell if he will be voting how “Amber B” votes. Interesting, they seem to be doing a good job of keeping their intentions hush hush.
Tory comes and chats. She tells the Queen that she wants to go against smaller players she thinks she can beat. OMG she literally has no self awareness. Tory is then confronted by Amber M. Tory tells her because she wants to compete against people who she thinks are probably weaker, fgs she literally has no chill. Amber M fires out the zinger “If you’re going around telling people you think I’m weak without telling me then I take that as you being weak”. YAS. 300 points Amber.
Kaycee is trying to rally the troops in the Big Bother alliance. Good luck. Aneesa and Tory are beginning to realise thy might be in the shits. Tory goes around rallying people to vote in “Little Amber”. “Any little person you can get to vote like that” she tells people. She KEEPS saying the word little despite that getting her into the mess she’s in, it’s astonishing. Fuzzy Bunny is making a side deal with Rudolf, essentially, if you want to go in give me a nod - a pretty smart, you scratch my back I scratch yours type of deal.
Deliberation time! Ashley tells us she’s staying silent because she doesn’t want a target. Devin is excited about Tory’s demise. Big Bad wolf highlights that rudolf has worn her USA track uniform just to terrify the rest of the house. Gabby leads off: She’s calling out people for dismissing the smaller members of the house. She points out that the challenges are varied and that actually people need to just stop making assumptions. Succinct, clear. 100 points. Aneesa steps in: I have no idea what she says, just many words. Something about experience, but then a long winded explanation of everyone needing to go in. None of it makes sense. Amber M tags in “people are going around acting like they know what we’re capable of because of our size”. Once again, clear and concise. Tory tags in, “it’s all about the unknown, how can we put respect on your name”. She “You might prove yourself” really stressing the might. She continues to dig herself a monster sized grave and at this point it’s quite funny.
Vote time. Amber M gets votes form Aneesa, JUDAS and Tory for certain. LeROY “burns” a vote on himself which is classic LeROY. Cori votes JUDAS out of revenge. We learn that it’s Aneesa and LeROY who get votes from like 2/3 of the house including a LOT of their friends. The Eagle and Fussy bunny agree that it’s either Tory or Lolo depending.
Aneesa is losing it - FINALLY they realise they’re fully on the chopping block. Teresa is there in support. Teresa acknowledges she’s walking a tightrope being friends with the rookies but also supporting “My old friend” (Aneesa) “and her best friend” (Tory). 100 points to Teresa for refusing to call Tory a friend. Teresa is definitely putting herself in a tricky situation here I can feel it. If it makes the edit, it’s usually relevant.
ELIMINATION TIME. TJ declassifies the information and we learn that Aneesa and LeROY are going down. The Eagle choses not to go down. “My reign of terror is nearly coming to an end” says the Eagle, adorable. They throw down Devin and Tory. BOOM.
“Sounds like you’re making a lot of friends in the house” says TJ to Tory. Savage, 150 points. It’s a women’s elimination and it’s called “Asset destruction”. Two giant crates held at an angle of heavy balls. They’ll pull the crates with a rope until they get it past a line and then they’ll need to pull the crate to tip the balls out. They’ll have 20 targets they’ll need to throw these balls at, 13 of which will be breakable. The first to pierce the 13 breakable targets wins. The girls are very displeased.
We’re ready. AND THEY’RE OFF. JUDAS choses now to remind us that he and Tory “have a connection” and that when they look at each other they “know what each other are thinking”. I’m of the mind that unless it’s confirmed something happened JUDAS is just massively overreaching boundaries given she was engaged and he needs to pipe down. Not that it makes much differences but he loses 200 points and earns ANOTHER Chastity belt.
Back to the elimination. Aneesa gets the Crate across to her and pulls it over first time. Tory gets the crate stopped and cannot for the life of her pull it over. She’s doing a remarkably bad job of trying to pull the crate over, she’s too close to the crate and has no leverage and she has no momentum to get the crate to tip on the run. All the while Aneesa is just casually slotting balls through targets. She’s up to 7 already. Aneesa looks over and you can tell a little part of her realises Tory’s performance is so bad she almost wants to hop over and help her out. Amber M is very pleased to declare Tory a lay up in a confessional. Aneesa gets up to 10/13 targets. Tory finally realises she needs to get the crate moving to provide momentum and she finally get’s it over.
We get some fake jeopardy about Tory catching up. Aneesa is on her final target. Millionaire 🤑🤑 Mitchell, straight back in and going her best work “If you see someone’s gonna win, and you have a loud redneck voice like this, it’s a good idea to let them know you’re rooting for them, so when they come back they tell you thank you so much for helping me”. Wonderful, 150 points. Aneesa fires her last ball and wins the elimination. Tory’s chaotic journey to an end. For the best, I think she might need to take some time off.
TJ says the standard goodbyes. TJ highlights that this is Aneesa’s 10th elimination win and goes on to defend her record. Just about as partisan as I’ve heard our sexy BMX boy in a while. I suppose when you’ve seen her narrowly lose to all time great Laurel in a hall brawl, you get to feeling that way.
Aneesa in one of the funniest moments of the season, steals back JUDAS. He looks so displeased and it’s GREAT. “That’s what you get with your bitch ass” says LeROY, 200 points to HIM. Kaycee choses to take back LeROY and it’s cute. They legitimately look traumatised by their time away from each other. Devin is the Rogue agent. He loves it, and it’s worth saying it makes him ineligible to go down to elimination. He loves it.
And with that, our 5th instalment of The Challenge, Double Agents is over. Lots of Love, Will0fthePeople xoxo
Link to my instalments 1,2,3 and 4 respectively:
https://www.reddit.com/MtvChallenge/comments/kejipb/will0fthepeoples_challenge_recap_from_last_week/
https://www.reddit.com/MtvChallenge/comments/kj4ic5/will0fthepeoples_challenge_recap_of_week_2/
https://www.reddit.com/MtvChallenge/comments/krvldu/will0fthepeoples_detailed_challenge_recap_of_week/
https://www.reddit.com/MtvChallenge/comments/kwry0will0fthepeoples_extensive_challenge_recap_week_4/

29 [F4M] USA/CST - Are you ready for this wild ride?

Housewives History Post: 2009-2011 That Goddamned Blog!

After the RHOC S4 reunion in 2009, Gretchen posted a deranged blog about Tamra. It was first posted to the Bravo site with the cast blogs but removed due to the content and accusations. Gretchen then reposted it on her personal blog in 2010. It was referenced on the show again in S6 in 2011 when Tamra attempted to make up with Gretchen during the Florida trip by asking her to, "take down that goddamned blog!" Gretchen never did which is great news for us as we can time travel back to this messy moment in Housewives History because of that.
This is the blog I wrote after the airing of the reunion show last year (season four). Both Tamra and my blog were removed from the bravo website due to unknown reasons, and therefore I found it important to make sure the truth was still heard. This is the only reason I still have this blog up. Tamra has tried to taint who I am as a person and Jeff’s and my relationship for way to long. It was about time I addressed all her lies, and set the record straight since TV only shows you want they want you to see.
I had already written my blog yesterday regarding this “lost episode” and didn’t get to send it in because I was at Slade’s son’s graduation. On my way home I received tons of calls and e-mails regarding Tamra’s blog on Bravotv.com and the “excuses” she used for her inappropriate actions on the reunion show. So of course, I read what she wrote and now feel forced to address the lies she continues to spin to the press and the public. Sorry in advance for this being long winded, but I have been QUIET for way too long, and it’s about time the truth be told as Tamra so eloquently pointed out.
First of all let me state this very clearly, Tamra changes her story according to how it best suites her in that moment. I have honestly never met anyone so contradictory in my life (or someone that just plan lies to your face) Let’s address some of Tamra’s “stories” as I like to call them.
Story #1: She states that I asked her and Simon to have a threesome the night of her infamous dinner party in the very late hours of that dinner, but contradictory to that claim, she sent me several texts after seeing that footage in season four, and stating that she was appalled at what she said about getting me “naked wasted” and that she was so drunk she had no idea she said those things at all. So if that was the case, then how convenient for her now to all of a sudden have a clear mind that night and remember that she supposedly heard me say I wanted to have a threesome? Maybe that’s a fantasy of hers, but it surly is not mine. I would never say something like that, as a matter of fact Tamra is the one who spends her time on national TV season four talking about having crazy sex, shopping at sex shops, and having to keep things better then the same old peanut butter and jelly sandwich. How miraculous that she all of a sudden pops out of her drunken state and could remember what was said, and to boot at the late part of the night (aren’t you normally drunker later?) In her own blog about that dinner party she states that Simon stayed up with me making some food while she was hugging a toilet. So when did I say this exactly again? If you ask me she wasn’t getting any response from me during the reunion show about her accusations so she needed to reach for the stars on something else hoping it might stick. (I.e. I picked up on Don, Ryan, and then the threesome comment) I mean seriously what is it? Pick one already. This is when you see me drop my mouth in amazement and say “you seriously have some balls”. Tamra was reaching even for her.
Story #2: About “J and I” involving Tamra in a love triangle. First, let me be clear! There was NO love triangle to involve Tamra in, second J, NOT me involved Tamra in this. I said it on the reunion show and I say it again now, “I cannot control what someone else does”. J was someone that I thought was a friend and it turned out he wanted something much more with me, when he couldn’t have that it caused him to do things that were not right. J calling Tamra in the middle of the night was because he was drunk and angry. He wanted to hurt me and therefore he tried to create conflict by calling Tamra and claiming he was my boyfriend. Tamra took the bait, hook line and sinker and he got exactly what he wanted. The next morning when I called to talk to Tamra about it, I apologized to her that he had called and said I was not sure how he had her number, but maybe he had gotten into my computer or my phone. At the time J was someone I considered to be a very dear friend, and he was someone that I believed had my best interest at heart. He would come to the house offering to take out the trash, or change light bulbs, or help around the house since Jeff was no longer able to do those things. He made me laugh during a very tough time in my life, and he and many of our mutual friends would go out and try to get my mind off the crap I was dealing with in the hospital, so yes it would make sense that people would see us out around town. Unfortunately, unbeknown to me he was going through my things, I believe stole pictures from my home and computer, and had access to personal information during those times because of access to my home. Now I understand and know he was planning on hurting me with those things at some point if he couldn’t have what he wanted. I later was told that he was out bragging around town he would figure out a way to make money off me.
As I said I called Tamra after J’s phone call that night to her and apologized to her, and said that he was acting “stalkerish”, because his irrational and strange actions were causing me to feel that way. I didn’t speak to him for weeks until he sent me a “I’m sorry” e-mail. He stated he was drunk and was wrong for doing what he did . I even forwarded J’s e-mail to Tamra. She said she understood and was sorry I was dealing with that because she has dealt with some of the same issues with guys from her past before, and I believed we had put it behind us. Obviously that was not the case.
And just for the record Tamra had already been on camera several times tallking crap about me long before this “phone call” to her was made (it was made half way through the season). So for her to blame her actions towards me all season on this guy calling, I believe was just a cop out. And as Lynne so brilliantly said during the lost footage episode to Tamra “So what’s your reason for being so mean to me”; proves my point even more.
Story # 3: I had no idea J continued to call her until much later, and once again him continuing to call her is not anything I was controlling. Tamra said on the “lost episode” that he kept calling every night at late hours, so if that doesn’t prove my point of him acting “stalkerish” with his behavior I don’t know what would, but again I didn’t know that he was continuing to call her until much later. J acted one way with me, but was obviously up to something else behind the scenes. I have never seen Tamra out on the town, so for her to say she saw him and I “very cozy” while out on the town is a flat out lie! I had no idea that J was talking to Simon behind my back and feeding him lies about our supposed relationship till much later. I also still don’t understand why Tamra wouldn’t have just told him to stop calling and that she has nothing to say to him. A guy will not keep calling if you shut all those doors, but obviously there is a part of that story that is missing. She says I dragged her into this but from my point of view she is the one that continued to allow herself to be involved. If that was me I would have told the guy to go pound sand, never to call again and if he continued I would get my husband on the phone and tell him we do not want to be involved and if you don’t stop harassing us we will get a restraining order! I now believe it was part of a bigger plan.
I would like to address her comments in regards to Bass Lake as well and J being up there for the day. J decided to drive up to Bass Lake for one day because he said he was sick of partying in Havasu for the holiday. I told him I would be there with my family and that he was welcome to come up to Bass Lake and hang out for the day because it was very chill. My family knew who he was, as did Jeff, and my parents would have never allowed J to be there if they believed for one second I was having an affair with him on Jeff! That’s just absurd! As I mentioned on the reunion show, Jeff had meet J, and he knew J was up in Bass Lake with us for the day because I talked to him several times throughout the day. The film crew was there that weekend as well, shooting for the show, so why in heaven’s sake would I allow this guy to be on camera if I was having an affair? Isn’t that just plain stupid? For Tamra to act like she was “calling me out” on something during the reunion show about him being in Bass Lake is hilarious because she didn’t even know any of the details. She simply was looking for an excuse to not like me and act the way she did towards me. I have realized some people don’t have the most innocent of intentions and that has been a rough lesson to learn lately.
Story #4: Tamra would just love it if she could convince everyone that I was using Jeff this “poor sick man to get on T.V.” Tamra even said to me at one of our first lunch meetings that Simon seemed to think that Jeff being ill was a big advantage for me because then everyone would feel sorry for me and like me. I found that to be a very strange statement. She knew her claims about J would help excuse her behavior as a person and possibly make people doubt me or not like me. Are you kidding me, how sick can they be? How can someone possibly say something so awful about a couple dealing with a deadly disease? And for the record again, I was approached to do the show, I didn’t audition like Tamra did through the internet by sending in a resume and picture to do the show. I had no intention of doing the show and certainly didn’t go looking for it. It was an opportunity that was brought to me, I originally was very hesitant to do the show but Jeff, who always liked an adventure, was actually the one that convinced me to do the show. So for her to say that I was using this poor man to get on a T.V. show is just ludicrous. Since Tamra never meet Jeff she could have never known any of the details about our relationship and the reasons we agreed to do the show. For her to just make assumptions based off a strange man’s phone calls to her in the middle of the night makes no sense at all. She herself said J was “trouble” and “wouldn’t stop calling”. Once again completely contradictory!
Story #5 Tamra states in her blog that “she was prepared to talk about J at the reunion show” yet in the weeks prior to the show she sends me texts saying she has no intention of talking about J because she didn’t want the drama and that is exactly what the audience and the Network wanted”. Then we attend the Virgin American event (in April 2009) and she tells me (with Lynne as my witness) she was forced to talk about J at the reuninon. Why? I’ll address that in a minute, but the point is, her story changes again. Then in her blog she states that J texted Simon just to stir things up on the day of the reunion, so if that was the case then why was she so surprised that I didn’t know what the hell she was talking about? Obviously I had no idea J was trying to stir things up because I believed J and I were friends and that he had my best interest at heart. I later realized that was not the case. Throughout the off season as Tamra and I talked she told me many times to be careful of J and that she believed he was trying to get his 15 minutes of fame. This is also when she told me about the continuous phone calls he made too them. So if she knew he was “trouble” and was only trying to get his 15 minutes of fame then why would J texting Simon affect her so much that she turned into such a mean bitch on set. I couldn’t quite understand it and that is why you see me asking her “why do you care so much about who is my friend or not, how does it effect you?” I just couldn’t understand the reasoning behind her ambush. Especially because I felt we had buried the hatchet on this issue many many times.
Well the very next morning I found out why she exploded like she did. It wasn’t about me at all, it was about the e-mail she received from her own husband, Simon, that day of the reunion show. I know she knows exactly what I am talking about here because I still have the e-mail saved and I responded to both Tamra and Simon to let them know I got CC’d on the e-mail. The most ironic part is that the e-mail came from her husband Simon because he was trying to save face with the cast and copied all of us on that e-mail, about Tamra lying to all of us about the reason he showed up in Vegas earlier in the season. Get this, the title of that e-mail addressed to Tamra from Simon was “Your B.S. and Lies” Ironic huh? Her own husband is addressing Tamra as a liar. Classic. I will get to that e-mail in a second but on another note I want to express that what really sucks about this whole thing is I really don’t think this is anyone’s business and I never brought this up because I just don’t like to be this way, but unfortunately when someone goes so out of their way to try to defame your character, at some point you have to call them on their own BS. I have let this go and go, tried to let it die, tried to not to add fuel to the fire, and take the punches and roll with them, but I am so done with this now! It’s so obvious that Tamra is out to hurt me and therefore I am forced to have to go here with all this because she continues to spin her lies to benefit herself and cover her own lies.
Simon writes this in the e-mail to his beloved wife and I quote; “So what did you say to Gretchen and Vicki at the pool? And maybe you should tell everyone the truth about Vegas and how you lied to me to get me to come up there. Or I will” The whole truth? I don’t need J’s text to prove what you told them lies about me the next day. Marriage is about being honest and loyal. Try it. I would have never done that to you. I don’t deserve it. Make it right.” End quote! Isn’t it funny how in every blog or piece of press Tamra claims she’s just “ Keeping it Real” or “The truth will set you free” Ha Ha Ha She tries so hard to convince the world she is always being truthful because every other word out of her mouth is a bullhonkey two faced lie.
As I put the pieces together in my mind I realized that the time of the e-mail sent by Simon was exactly when we were coming back from our lunch break during the reunion show, and wha-la,! I all of a sudden realized why Tamra flew off the handle with me that day. J texted something to Simon that made Simon realize that Tamra lied to all of us about why he came up to Vegas. By Simon sending Tamra that e-mail above, it sent a backlash of emotions that came pouring over onto me about how I am such a liavictim, all the while her own husband is saying “marriage is about being honest and loyal, try it” Tamra was so mad she got busted because of some text from J to Simon. No mind you, I had no clue any of this had transpired. J and I had corresponded by text that day in regards to how the day was going; he never told me he had sent a text over to Simon that day. Now unfortunately as I put the pieces together I believe that was all a part of his plan, and to get his name on T.V.
I think the only thing Tamra and I agree on to this day is that J was looking to have his 15 minutes of fame no matter what avenue he took.
I have to say though, funny how she was calling me a liar on National Television, all the while her own husband was calling her a liar in an e-mail to her. This is part of the reason you see me say “am I being set up” on the lost footage episode. It really came out of nowhere her attacking me. Let’s see her now try to explain her way out of that one. I’m sure it will be someone else’s fault, or she will say I made this up, but the good news is that Simon CC’d everyone involved in this situation so all the cast and crew know exactly what I am talking about. Even Jeana admits to this particular e-mail beginning of season five.
Story #6 Tamra having to show up in court! What a flipping joke this one is. For the record I didn’t just NOT show up for my own court case. I DROPPED the case the day before it was even heard in court. That was from advice of my attorney, as J told his own attorney he didn’t care if I got a restraining order against him, which lead me to believe all he wanted was a media circus and I was not about to allow my serious concerns to be made a mockery out of in the press. When I heard he was involving Tamra in the case I immediately texted her. The reason for the text was because I had just seen her two weeks prior at the Virgin America event. I once again believed her when she said she wanted to call a truce and she would no longer talk about me. She claimed she just wanted all this to be over.
In good faith I agreed, and was looking forward to being past all this, but once again her story changes. Tamra and I exchanged texts messages the day before court and she stated that she wasn’t happy and was very stressed about having to go into court. I understood and felt bad she had been drug into my situation by J once again and told her I was going to drop the case per my attorney’s advice. J had already violated the Temporary Restraining Order once and it became obvious a piece of paper was not going to protect me from what he was consistently doing. I not only texted her the night before, but then again the morning confirming that the case had been withdrawn. Tamra knew the case had been taken off calendar because J’s attorney called all the people that were going to be in court that day the night before to let them know. But low and behold guess who still shows up to court……Tamra. Then surprise surprise she talks to press and spins her lies again, claiming she found it very strange that I didn’t show up for this case, when she knew damn well the day before I was dropping the case and the reasons for it because I texted her, and she responded! Then Tamra goes on to say that it “shows my real character”, and all she wants to do is “tell the truth”. So where was the truth in any of that? She flat out lied again, says one thing to me and another to the press. The funniest part is she actually made me believe that she was concerned for me for a minute in our exchange of texts. I fell for her two-faced B.S. again.
Then she says to press, “That J was very apologetic” as if she is now buddies with the guy that she was trying to convince me was “trouble”. If you ask me this whole thing sounds strange. Maybe my initial intuition on the “lost episode” of questioning if I was being set up, wasn’t that far off after all. Who knows really, but then I have a flash back of the footage where Tamra is saying she was going to get me “naked wasted” at her dinner party “and she was going to make me do something stupid”. Makes a girl think.
J is not someone I choose to be around anymore or have in my life especially after the very sick and shallow things he has done to taint Jeff’s and my relationship. He is not someone I care to talk about, but unfortunately I have been forced to discuss because of the “lost episode”, Tamra’s lies, and his consistent attempt of putting his name in the media and stating lies about me. I made a poor choice to be-friend someone that obviously took advantage of my friendship by stealing from me, borrowing money he never paid back ($18,000 dollars to be exact), and using my name to bring his into the limelight. I am not sorry I had that friendship because I have learned a lot from it, but I am sorry that he had to ruin it by doing what he has done to me and the memories of Jeff.
On a personal note, as far as all the other footage on this “lost episode” it was so nice to see some of the happy moments that Jeff and I shared together and with the kids again. The footage was hard for me to see and so I am sure the kids will have a hard time seeing that footage as they no longer go to Dad’s house to have those bar-be-ques. Jeff always loved to hear the sound of all us together, it made him happy even in his darkest of days. Just laughing and giggling, and poking fun at each other. That really was a very fun day. We had no joke about 50 kids over to the house and we played all afternoon. Jeff was the “cool” dad and the kids loved to hang out at his house. I obviously got along well with all the kids and enjoyed my time with them every time we got to see them. I miss all our time together it has been a while since we all got together and had a good laugh. I talk to all of them still very often. They are all very good kids and had the great influence of their Dad to turn into great kids with a lot to offer this world. I am very proud of them and the battle they have endured over losing their Dad at such a young age. I am in a much better place now, no longer vulnerable to predators and people that want to take advantage of me. I have good people around me and I will get through this period with my head held high. As far as Tamra goes, it’s sad that she just can’t “own” what she continues to lie about, and just stop talking trash on me. I have never been able to figure out why she cares so much about my life and what I choose to do. She is no longer someone I care to be friends with and I have given that woman numerous opportunities to make amends and be sincere about it, but I guess a leopard never changes it’s spots. Thanks to all my loyal fans and friends during this difficult period. As Tamra said, the truth will set you free. Gosh I feel much better now, thanks for the advice Tamra.
Xoxo Gretchen Christine

Will0fthePeople's way too extensive Challenge Recap week 8

GREETINGS EARTHLINGS ONCE MORE.
I am late again, I need to get better at doing these more than 5 hours in advance but I am terrible at planning. That said, this was a particularly enjoyable episode to type up so hopefully we breach the 10 upvote mark I've designated by gold standard <3.
https://www.reddit.com/MtvChallenge/comments/lbvcy0/will0fthepeoples_extensive_challenge_recap_week_7/ is where you can find the previous week.
So without any further ado, please enjoy my overly extensive recap of last weeks challenge shenanigans:
LeROY and Queen 👑 Kam have a cute hug kiss and a chat. They’re so CUTE. Have 5 couple goals. They discuss options for who to run the final with our boy. For a second it looks like they’d consider Theresa 🏀 but instead they’re discussing when best to throw her in - aka on a confirmed girls day. Quasimodo wants to avenge his buddy Jay and he seemingly trusts KamROY strange? Rudolf has figured out she may not be going into elimination because nobody wants her to run a final. She thinks Quasimodo’s approach of cuddling up to the big players won’t work. The couple continue on the theme of having a continous domestic. Fuzzy Bunny tells them to sort it out and win a daily to throw themselves in. Wiseness, this wraps up the argument neatly.
The boys are chatting about how keeping a scull is going to be hard work. Cori wants to go in, Mechie hilariously wants to win a daily to control the elimination which of course is perfectly realistic. Devin wants ANNOYTM vs JUDAS in the hope that ANNOYTM accidentally takes out JUDAS. The Big Bad Wolf is holding his grudge to the end of time. ANNOYTM is frustrated he doesn’t have respect mostly because he’s so far been completely terrible over his challenge career. Amber B is part of the chat and acknowledges that Big bother is her main alliance and not the Itty Bitty Small Committee. I KNEW SHE WAS TOO TALL FOR THEM.
DAILY TIME. There is a mud pit and it’s called “All Brawl”. 5 at a time contestants will search for a “Relic” buried in the mud which is the cross they use for pole wrestle on occasion - which they will fight to remove from the pit and past the finish line. Heat 1 will be: The Eagle, Aneesa, Queen 👑 Kam, Rudolf and Nany. The Eagle absolute queen that she is is comparing the mud to getting her skin cleansed at the spa. 150 points to that optimism. Rudolf is done with the politics and wants to expend some energy “LETS GO”. FINALLY. They line up and once again Rudolf flies off the line only for it to devolve (predictably) into a slow search. “NANYS GOT IT, NANYS GOT IT” shouts The Big Bad Wolf when she clearly doesn’t. Excellent chat, have yourself 200 points. They continue you to search slowly. Obviously the strategy here would be, if you find something, you should be subtle about it and not alert the other players. Right. So Nany in the most Nany move ever, picks it up. Lifts it out of the water. And Gasps like a cartoon character. Have 200 points for being a bit of a moron but improving our viewing experience immensely. The girls pounce. And Rudolf is straight on her. It’s a bit go a pileup. ANNOYTM shouts “Let my partner go” from the sidelines like that might help. Shut up ANNOYTM. Rudolf looks like she might be getting the relic off Nany when Aneesa pulls her down and out of the contest. Nany throws the relic to Queen 👑 Kam. And she wins. Come onnnn guys, let’s give other players a chance.
Rudolf is fuming that Aneesa choked her during the brawl. She’s screaming and threatening her and Aneesa is having none of it. Video evidence does suggest this may have happened but let’s face it - heat of the moment and shit happens. Heat 2 is The Big Bad Wolf, ANNOYTM, JUDAS, Quasimodo, and Mechie. The Big Bad Wolf is less than thrilled that both ANNOYTM and JUDAS will have permission to go toe to toe with him physically. Quasimodo wants to win and I’m psyched. “Let’s rock” YES NAM. JUDAS decides to block the exit while ANNOYTM goes searching. “WOW, the relic, I found it” says Quasimodo in a confessional. I love him. He proceeds to move around on his knees periodically moaning “Where is it”. A masterclass in acting from the German, 150 points and an Olivier award - he seems like he’s built for the stage. He slowly moves towards the edge and when JUDAS is suitably distracted he leaps out of the water and crosses the line. YES. Rudolf is still pissed and doesn’t congratulate her partner. Boo you, lose 100 points Rudolf.
Heat 3 is between Teresa, Gabby, the Ambers and Kaycee. “I’m gonna run in there so fast guys” says Kaycee. She does realise getting to the pit first isn’t the aim of the challenge? The usual searching commences. Theresa 🏀 finds the relic and unlike Quasimodo she is bad at auctioning and literally grins like a lemur. The crowd call her out and she tries to make a break. PILE UP ensues. Gabby the sly fox manages to grab the relic from the side of the brawl and crosses the line.
Finally: Heat 4 which is Cori, Fuzzy Bunny, Devin, Darrell and LeROY. Fuzzy Bunny is feeling good and feels like “drowning a few of em”. Fuzzy Bunny is awkwardly shuffling around standing up - he obviously has it and the crowd call him out on it. “Check my feet, check my feet he says” and LeROY dutifully comes over and makes the most half assed attempt to check I’ve ever seen. Hilarious. Once clear Fuzzy Bunny picks it up and makes a successful dash for the line. 150 points for making some very stupid contestants look even more stupid than usual.
So the next round will be winners of the mens and women’s heats against each other in a standard pole wrestle. They’ll move on to a mystery “Round 3”. First off we have Fuzzy Bunny vs Quasimodo. They’re both hungry. Rudolf has recovered and is cheering for her man. It’s fairly tight to start but Fuzzy Bunny uses his experience and gets Quasimodo on his back in the water “You won’t break this punching bag never” says Quasimodo but eventually rips the relic. A strong effort from the German but he came up against the worst person possible in this.
Gabby is frustrated she needs to go up against Queen 👑 Kam and too right. Queen 👑 Kam acknowledges she’s fit but we all know this is going only one way. Gabby lasts maybe a second longer than we might have expected but Queen 👑 Kam easily takes the win. We find out that the final round will be including the partners. Aka Queen 👑 Kam vs The Eagle and Fuzzy Bunny vs The Big Bad Wolf. Fuzzy Bunny is pissed. He knows that The Eagle just can’t win against Queen 👑 Kam . There’s a seriously uncomfortable moment where Fuzzy Bunny is complaining loudly about it and poor The Eagle looks a little heartbroken. Lose 100 points Fuzzy Bunny and be a better partner please. He slightly makes up for it “I couldn’t even beat Kam” he says.
I’m not going to bother writing up this too much. Essentially Queen 👑 Kam very politely removes the relic from The Eagle and then Fuzzy Bunny doesn’t try very hard and loses to The Big Bad Wolf. Hilariously this means that The Big Bad Wolf is shown to have beaten Fuzzy Bunny in a pole wrestle twice. One of the many reasons the context behind statistics are often important particularly with a small sample size.
Queen 👑 Kam and The Big Bad Wolf continue their political domination as the Double agents. Their season gets more impressive by the day. Amber M is aware both her and Mechie are both targets. Amber B basically admits she’s going to need to vote against her friend. Rudolf is still complaining about being choked and we pan to Aneesa complaining to Theresa 🏀 about how much of a deal she’s making. Theresa 🏀 makes the point that Rudolf just isn’t used to the challenge. Aneesa decides to leave is until morning. Rudolf is complaining to The Big Bad Wolf and he diffuses some of her feelings.
The Big Bad Wolf and Queen 👑 Kam discuss who to send in. Queen 👑 Kam says ANNOYTM and Nany want to go in against Mechie and Amber. “We have too options here, help our friends or fuck over our enemies - let’s fuck over our enemies” says The Big Bad Wolf gleefully. 200 points for playing correctly. “Lets put Fessy in!” He says and Queen 👑 Kam has to calm is excitement. He’s like a child in a sweet shop and Queen 👑 Kam is his slightly embarrassed mum. In a confessional she’s very astutely against not throwing in the whole big bother alliance. 100 points for being wise.
CLUB TIME. I sense the challengers are beginning to enjoy this less the more they do it. Sweet moment between The Eagle and Fuzzy Bunny and he apologises for getting worked up and he promises to ride it out with her and not to switch partners. Do I believe that? No, but it’s still nice. ANNOYTM and Nany discuss that they want a rookie team to compete against. The Big Bad Wolf asks Amber M to encourage the house to put in JUDAS and Aneesa. He visits the the Itty bitty small committee to persuade them to vote for them. He then straight up tells Aneesa what he’s doing which is hilarious.
Morning time and Amber B is chatting to The Eagle and telling her they need to vote Amber M in. THIS IS BIZZARE. If you’re going to vote for your friend, don’t go around telling all the people connected to them? Amber B loses 100 points for being very strange. Amber M choses this moment to rock up - I do love it when that happens - and everything is awkward. Amber M is somewhat aware of the deception and is feeling distrustful.
Deliberation time. Mechie: “I don’t want to go down, I don’t want to, I don’t want to go in.” Amber M: “I’ve spoken to my partner, I also don’t want to go down”. Fuzzy Bunny: “Chuckles, is that how it works now?” LeROY: “I don’t want to go down neither”. I feel like it’s hard to express how funny this little exchange was written down but safe to say LeROY wins 100 points for making the group laugh. Amber M calls out Aneesa, who seems surprised which is bizarre given The Big Bad Wolf literally gave a heads yesterday. JUDAS is displeased. Always good.
Voting time. LeROY interestingly votes for JUDAS and Aneesa. The rest of the votes go as you’d expect, I’m not 100% on which way this is going…
Queen 👑 Kam and The Big Bad Wolf are in the booth. The Big Bad Wolf tells Queen 👑 Kam that Amber B told him not to tell Amber M that she voted for him. AND that Amber M asked him to tell him if Amber B voted for her. Can I just give everyone involved 100 points for being hilariously convoluted? The results are up and we DONT get to see what they are?! Challenge producers why are you like this??
Aneesa is having a chat/apology with Rudolf and actually it’s reasonably mature and sensible and Rudolf realises that Aneesa has been one of the kinder people in the house so alls well that ends well.
ELIMINATION TIME. Strange, it feels weird not knowing anything about who’s going down. Ooh so it’s the elimination that Tory and Aneesa did with the balls in the cage and the target. Amber M and Mechie, are heading down to elimination which probably means Amber M is going in, which I’ll be disappointed about. JUDAS surprisingly astutely notes that throwing him down would give him an opportunity to get a new partner. So The Big Bad Wolf and Queen 👑 Kam send down Nany and ANNOYTM. WHAT. Ugh. The Big Bad Wolf is being nice to ANNOYTM? So the elimination is going to be for the… Men?! I was wrong. I lose 150 points for being stupid. Which means we’re going to see ANNOYTM vs Mechie. Possibly the most insipid match up this century?
The elimination is once again “Asset destruction” but this time they’ll be solving a slide puzzle before they get going. The puzzle will show which targets are breakable. Ready. And. Go. ANNOYTM in what I consider the most surprising thing to happen this side of 2021, absolutely flies through the slide puzzle. Mechie doesn’t appear to know how to do slide puzzles.. oh god. ANNOYTM is on to dragging the crate with the balls and that seems easy enough. Oh god, ANNOYTM is doing well in an elimination. ANNOYTM starts throwing balls at the target. Oh my word. He is so bad at it. He keeps missing/hitting the frame, hitting the wrong target. “Aim Josh, aim” says JUDAS and it’s not a good look. Even TJ is laughing. While ANNOYTM continues to fail, Mechie continues to be awful and slide puzzles. ANNOYTM finally calms and realises the puzzle shows him which targets are breakable. Finally he makes progress and after 5/6 throws he wins.
ANNOYTM is screaming his victory. Has he earned his respect? No. Does he think he has? Absolutely. Oh ANNOYTM. “Hey Devin, Hall brawl next?” He says. “Let’s hope it doesn’t involve throwing balls first” says Devin. I was going to be kind and not deduct points but after experiencing an Oscar level speech from ANNOYTM I’m going to have to take 100 points. “You are terrible at puzzles aren’t you” says TJ to Mechie. Savage. That’s the last gold scull. ANNOYTM thinks he’s safe - oh dear. ANNOYTM chooses to stick with Nany which makes Amber M the first female rogue agent. Queen 👑 Kam is ready to send in Theresa 🏀. Juicy. Tonights gonna be good.
And that’s a wrap. Peace out. Will0fthePeople xoxo

Important : Tips for those who wish to own or date a sissy

Hi everyone, it's been so long since i last posted here, got badly caught up with my work and studies. Anyways, i missed all of you girls and all the love, that i usually get from all the sissies over here.
So, from sometime i'm notcing men and women who wishes to own a sissy, have some really fucked up understanding about us and thinks we love that appraoch or that nature of theirs. Most of you might be pissed from this already same as i'm. So, i thought to share some tips and guidelines for those, who thinks they are being "Cool" and "Manly" but actually sounds creepy and unattractive all the way to us. Also, they need to understand that, porn not always depicts the entire story of what a sissy is, so don"t get carried away by them as well rather it's better to use brains and take ahead as the flow demands rather than just being a man with a pretty dick only.
So, here we go -

We are sissies? Yes!!! But, we are no different from submissive women. it's just our body includes a small clit, that come into play when it comes to sex and other kinky stuffs.
We don't find abuses and derogatory remarks seductive or enticing right away. If you think starting off with an abuse is a nice way to catch our attention then you are one big time wrong. Just as sub women, some of us might love it during the act but not when a man is approaching us or talking to us randomly.
We sissies do not drool over your hairy cocks all the time. If you think spaming our inbox with it will get you attention then chances are really low. Yes, we love cocks and we want it but there is a time for eveything. We can ask on our own same as you ask for our pussy pics.
Don't expect us to be a pretty doll 24x7, when you don't even shave your pubic hair or clean your cock in the first place for months. Most of us are closet sissies, we dress when we get some privacy or time. Just as women, we shave when we are supposed to do a session or go out on a date or hookup.
Stop calling or video calling randomly at any time, this will put you in our block list right away. No explaination needed for this.
Roleplays on chat are boring for some of us but for some sissies it is exciting. Ask first and even if there are some of us who likes, then it doesn't work in the way you think. First, she might want to know you and with getting familiar, i don't mean 15 mins or an hour chat is enough.
Exposing a sissy is not good without her consent. What you see in porn is right but it goes without saying, those sissies gave her consent. Don't just ruin someone's life by sharing her pics without knowing what she wants, it can lead to some serious incidents. As i said, just as women, you will get to know with her responses whether she likes it or not.
The last point brings me to my next concern. Sissies are submissive and they love it. But, if you will ask them directy whether you are into this or into that, it just ruins the mood. Just as you do with women, try to know her and she answers indirectly, we likes to answer in the same way so understand and talk.
One night stands are cool for us but one night random chats about sex is fucking boring. We can we do sex chats very well but it can't be build up within just 15 minutes of conversation. Don't think, that we are being excited with all of this.
Stop asking for money, especially women or should i call fake women?. Neither we want your money nor want to give ours. Experienced sissies will never fall into that trap i know but new and young sissies are very vulnerable. Stop blackmailing them, it can lead to some things, that are not acceptable in any society.
Stop asking for pics all the time, yes you have a right to know who you are talking to, only if we get along. Generally, most of us have our pictures on our profile so there is no point of asking more. If you think a sissy you talking to is fake then block her, i do not support that as well.
We are Done with this face pic shit, don't force sissies to show their face or send face pics. If she is comfortable then she will but just don't push her, otherwise you are off the list in the end. I feel bad and irritating when i find some guy hot, decent, manly and dom but have to end up with him because of his shitty face pic cribbing.
If you want to own a sissy then take it slowly. Have some patience and train her step by step. Don't rush into things and start asking for pics and videos everytime, trying to get your some crazy demands fullfilled anytime. You need to build it and take her to the journey of sissification. If you find her fake or a jerker then block that sissy, she needs to be on the same page as you. My ex-master trained me for over an year and that too only over the internet, which made me a sissy and brought an acceptance in me about who i'm.
If humilation or degradation is your thing then humilate her but this liberty only comes after establishing a certain level of trust and bonding.
If she asks for clothes or some girly stuff as a charity. Don't consider her greedy or a scamster, she might be a student or something and needs some stuff to bring herself out. Though, i totally agree, some are fake and fraud, so never give money, if want to give something then give her clothes, even you can give used ones of your wife, gf or anyone. Also, only do this when you feel she is real and a nice girl otherwise just kick her off.

These are just some issues i felt that needs to be addressed for atleast once to end foolishness from both the sides actually. If you girls have something to add or say then write down in comments below, it is always open for sissies XoXo 💋💋💋💋💋 don't forget to upvote to spread the word ❤❤❤ lots of love ❤

My Habit Tracker Spreadsheet - available for everyone

29 [F4M] USA/CST - Are you ready for this wild ride?

Coco’s LDR tips & tricks for forever happiness!

Every relationship is different and has its own healthy tidbits of advice, these are just what works for me in mine! Thought I would share, please comment yours so we can have a great flow of ideas
A few different things ‘we’/I do to keep a healthy LDR:

Always text good morning & goodnight, no matter what, it takes little effort, but goes a long way to better the start of your day and end a potentially long one.
Any little “belly” feeling we bring up instantly, if your partner says something and your belly gets that weird feeling where you don’t feel good...bring it up! You feel for a reason and give your partner the benefit of doubt to reassure you before jumping to emotional conclusions.
Keeping each other your best friend, your significant other should be the person you can cry to, confide in and rejoice with. If you are finding yourself wanting to keep secrets, hide your feelings or not share the good things-review the reasons why you feel this way (I once did myself).
Understand the difference between chemistry and compatibility. Chemistry is the physical instant and non-physical things that attract you to your partner. Compatibility is when your hearts and heads are on the same page, your future desires and values are corresponding. (I say this because, I’ve dated guys that I had strong chemistry with, so I assumed we had compatibility too. Sometimes we feel such intense chemistry that we think we are compatible too.)
“Lust isn’t love”, every moment isn’t going to be exciting, sexy, intense and passionate. But if you love each other, every moment will be loving, caring, listened to and well received. (I have mostly always been in lust first relationships, so when I met my LDR and he respected me and cared for me, I was honestly quite unsure of how I felt. Lust first relationship are the ones that maybe have high highs and low lows, it feels really good and then really bad, a roller coaster of emotions. This kind of relationship was something I normalized in the past until I found my boyfriend (our relationship is like a nice bike ride—less like a roller coaster).
Figure out each other’s love languages, something so important to do (Google it and take the test)! This will help you understand how he/she needs to be given love and nudge them on how you need to be loved.
If something doesn’t feel right, maybe in your talking habits or in responses-don’t automatically think it’s about you, before you jump to a conclusion, ask your partner “how are you?”...I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt like my boyfriend was a little off that day, maybe he didn’t text me good morning (like he usually does) or something different...and I pulled myself together and I think, “how is he, maybe he’s had a bad day at work, having issues with a friend or a family member, maybe he is sad about the distance too.” Ask, ask, ask, it’s usually not about us, this could lead to having a conversation about the root of a problem, rather than pointing a finger at yourself without asking.
Do you fall in love with them more and more everyday? I know I fall in love with my boyfriend more everyday, because everyday I learn something new about him. We are constantly growing our internal dictionaries about each other. Try this: I started making up these games. I ask him 6 questions (If you were to keep one item from your childhood, what would it be? Would you rather live in a RV or on a sailboat? Who are your best 3 friends and why?) ANYTHING...then we both answer the questions for ourselves and we both answer the questions for each other and send out answers at a certain time. Doing this has helped me understand what he thinks I want, while it shows him what I actually want/like. Then from here, we will have a deeper discussion about how wrong we were or maybe how surprisingly right we were!
DREAM, dream with your partner for a better future, creative ideas about a house you two want one day, and fun things you will do next time you see each other. Stay positive, stay futuristic and put your wants and hope into fruition.
Love Letters- I write my boyfriend letters/make him doodles, maybe once a week or more. I understand this isn’t possible for every couple. I often don’t sent the letters in that moment. I will date/time stamp and write everything I am feeling, maybe the things I’m not ready to share or maybe something I’m excited about and want to wait for him to see in my handwriting. My boyfriend loves this, when I come to visit him, I actually notice he keeps them on his night stand because he likes something tangible to hold and read, it makes him feel closer to me along with the idea that I took time to write something he could have have forever. (This is the way he likes to receive love, and I like to show it — we found this out by “learning our love languages”— while I’ve been writing this, I actually just got a text from him saying, “These letters mean everything” haha!)
Don’t hold back, life is too short, we are not given tomorrow, heck we aren’t give the next 30 seconds. Say how you feel, feel how you feel and when you think of your special person tell them! Give that extra little “Hey, I like you”, maybe it’s not for them, maybe it’s for you. You should wake up and go to sleep knowing you are doing your best to show someone the sweetness in your heart—-relationships are work, you want results? you want forever? Then you have to constantly work and tune your way of speaking and recognize each other’s efforts.

Hope one of my little tips helps a LDR today! Xoxo - Coco

can guys write xoxo video

The next time a guy sends you XOXO, you’ll know exactly what those hugs and kisses actually mean. No one likes guesswork, so it’s great that these guys took the time to answer our questions. If you think he’s into you, send him some XOXO’s back and see what happens. You can always claim that you were just teasing him if he isn’t ... Once you have an XOXO symbol, you can carry it into other pieces of wedding stationery, such as the menu, table cards and escort cards. XOXO Cocktail Hour Xs and Os work great at the cocktail hour, which can have an intimate and social feel, says Sarah Chancey, founder and creative lead of wedding planning and design company Chancey Charm . do guys write xoxo just because? I know it's silly but do guys just write that or can I stop freaking out lol and know he really likes me. We can't talk where he is at only email and we haven't known each other for long ... Likely, you can ask a responsible friend to hold on to it until you are able to make sound decisions again. 2) Expect an immediate response: Not everyone is glued to their phone all the time. If the person hasn’t texted you back within a few seconds, don’t send another text asking him if he got your last text. Favorite Answer. yes he meant it as a sign of affection, but don't expect him to kiss you the next time you see him, My bf texts me xoxo if we have had a nice conversation over text, but he has... So, one kiss (x) is not very affectionate, whereas xxxxxxx is very affectionate. you can potentially write one x to a boy who isn't your boyfriend, but no more than just one. I would keep 'xoxo' just for your boyfriend or other close female friends. the same rule applies: xo is a little bit affectionate, whereas xoxoxoxoxoxo is very affectionate. Can guys write xoxo? 19% - Last week xcompany was conducted the training 3 guys got failed out of 10 members.how to write a mail to evaluate those three guys?kindly assist? 14% - I love you guys i am your bigest fan i want you guys come to my birthday party to take a pickure with you guys and a t,shert of you guys on ..? 15% - I never ... Can guys use xoxo? In a note or a letter, is it normal for guys to put "xoxo" at the end to express "hugs and kisses"? ... If you just end it as xoxo it might seem gay write something else with it like, take care xoxo, or how you wrote it ''Your other boyfriend xoxo" . Hope i helped!! 2 0. Ge1st. "XOXO" has long been the symbol for a kiss and a hug, but a pair of writers say that it's commonly becoming used as a way to sign-off an email message -- even at the workplace. How does your ... There is nothing wrong with expressing yourself, and if you want to end a letter or email in "XOXO" then you do it! If your friends think you're 'gay' - Ask them if THEY'RE in a relationship and when they say no, you can tell them why! =]

XOXO Meaning: What Does XOXO Mean and How Did It Come to Be?

can guys write xoxo

can guys write xoxo - win

Community gift subs killed my community; A warning.

my (25f) boyfriend's (27m) parent's hate me no matter what I do, and I'm completely at a loss. Please give me advice.

Will0fthePeople's EXTENSIVE Challenge Recap week 7

Transition can be really, really good! (or "How I learned to pretend like I wasn't depressed and love the bomb") Part 2.2. Or part 4. whatever... It's a continuation of my way too long story. With pictures and stuff.

29 [F4M] USA/CST - Are you ready for this wild ride?

Will0fthePeople's EXTENSIVE Challenge Recap week 5 🔥🔥🔥

29 [F4M] USA/CST - Are you ready for this wild ride?

Housewives History Post: 2009-2011 That Goddamned Blog!

Will0fthePeople's way too extensive Challenge Recap week 8

Important : Tips for those who wish to own or date a sissy

My Habit Tracker Spreadsheet - available for everyone

29 [F4M] USA/CST - Are you ready for this wild ride?

Coco’s LDR tips & tricks for forever happiness!

can guys write xoxo video

can guys write xoxo top