40 Best Songs of All Times About Poker, Dice, Cards and Addiction
40. Go Down Gamblin’ - Blood Sweat and Tears
Released in 1971, Go Down Gamblin’ by Blood Sweat and Tears is a song describing a gambler who is “born a natural loser.” He never wins, no matter what game he plays, but, he doesn’t feel like a loser. As the song goes – “Cause I've been called a natural lover by that lady over there, Honey, I'm just a natural gambler but I try to do my share.”
39. Gambler - Madonna
Gambler is a song written and played by Madonna, made for the film Vision Quest. Although the song reached the top 10 in the charts of the UK, Australia, Belgium, Ireland, Netherlands, and Norway, Madonna performed it only once on her 1985The Virgin Tour. It’s a catchy song, we suggest you play it as you spin the reels of some of your favourite retro online slots.
38. The House of the Rising Sun - The Animals
Our list wouldn’t be complete without the 1964 hit song - The House of the Rising Sun by The Animals. Everybody knows the famous lines ”My mother, she was a tailor, sewed these new blue jeans, my father was a gamblin' man way down in New Orleans.” This single had a major success and made it to the top 10 songs on mainstream rock radio stations in the USA. Likewise, the hit was featured in the video game Guitar Hero Live.
37. The Winner Takes It All - ABBA
Whether we admit it or not, we all love at least some songs played by the very well-known Swedish pop group, ABBA. According to some sources, Bjorn Ulvaeus wrote the 1980 hit song The Winner Takes It All which was inspired by his divorce to his fellow band member, Agnetha Fältskog. The winner takes it all is a sort of a comparison to a divorce (especially the part ”I've played all my cards and that's what you've done too, nothing more to say, no more ace to play”), where one of them is the winner and the other one is left with nothing. And things are just the same when it comes to gambling, so we’ve decided to put the song on our list.
36. Shape of my Heart - Sting
We’re all aware of the fact that our gambling behaviour can be influenced by certain types of music and that's because online gambling and music go hand in hand. So, we suggest you start playing your preferred games with one of everyone’s favourite songs by Sting called The Shape of my Heart. It was released in 1993 and used for the end credits of the film Léon. In one of his interviews, Sting explained that the lyrics of the song tell the story of a card player who places bets not in order to win but to figure out something that’s been bothering him - “some kind of scientific, almost religious law.”
35. All I Wanna Do Is Play Cards - Corb Lund
“Well, I guess I really oughta be makin up songs but all I wanna do is play cards. I know it's dumb and sick and wrong but all I wanna do is play cards. Got the studio booked in Tennessee, and my record producer's callin me, the tape will roll in just three weeks and all I wanna do is play cards.” Does it sound familiar? It’s a 2005 hit by Corb Lund called All I Wanna Do Is Play Cards, once you hear it you’ll be playing it on repeat.
34. Gambling Man - The Overtones
When you’re falling in love, it’s perfectly normal to feel like you want to gamble everything just to attract that person’s attention to notice you and love you back. Well, Gambling Man is a lively 2010 song that tells a story of a guy fascinated with his love, so he places all his bets on her, as the song goes - “I played my hand, I rolled the dice, now I'm paying for my sins, I got some bad addiction.” This time, he feels that this love affair is different from any other – “Baby, it's you, yeah, yeah, that's right.” The song was released in 2010 and has been popular ever since.
33. Poker Face - Lady Gaga
Although the Poker Face song is more about the game of romance rather than the game of poker, the catchy refrain that starts with “Can't read my, no he can't read my poker face” kinda reminds us of winning at the tables, so we couldn’t skip it this time. Released in 2008, the song achieved worldwide success, topping the charts in the USA, the UK, Australia, Canada and several European countries.
32. Little Queen of Spades - Robert Johnson
Moving on to the Little Queen of Spades, a song title by the American blues musician Robert Johnson who recorded the song in 1937 and first released it in 1938. The first version of this gambling-themed song has a playing time of 2:11, whereas the second one lasts 4s longer (2:15), and is considered an alternate take and first appeared on Johnson's album The Complete Recordings, in 1990.
31. Train of Consequences - Megadeth
Another great song Train of Consequences is the title created by Megadeth, released as the first single from their sixth studio album Youthanasia in 1994. The song was later included on their compilation albums and its music video was the 26th most played video on MTV. There’s this part of the song “No horse ever ran as fast as the money that you bet, I'm blowing on my cards and I play them to my chest” – which is about a person’s gambling problem, who realises something’s wrong with this lifestyle, but it still hunts him down. Could be just the thrill, but he just can’t stop playing.
30. Gambler - Whitesnake
Released on the album Slide It In (1984) and appearing on the compilation album Gold (2006), Gambler is the song by the British hard rock band Whitesnake. These words may sound familiar - “No fame or fortune, no luck of the draw, when I dance with the Queen of Hearts, a jack of all trades, a loser in love, it's tearing my soul apart”. And in case you’ve never heard it, we think you should give it a shot, the chances are you’re going to love it!
29. Gambling Man - Woody Guthrie
Now here’s one single from 1957 - Gamblin' Man. The song was taped live at the London Palladium and published as a double A side, with Puttin' On the Style. Reaching #1 in the UK Singles Chart in the summer 1957, it was “the last UK number 1 to be released on 78 rpm format only, as 7' vinyl had become the norm by this time.” Written by Woody Guthrie and Donegan, this gambling themed song was produced by Alan Freeman and Michael Barclay.
28. Roll of the Dice - Bruce Springsteen
According to Songfacts, Roll of the Dice was the first Springsteen’s song he didn’t write by himself. In fact, E Street Band’s pianist Roy Bittan helped with the music, while Springsteen was in charge of the lyrics, starting with – “Well I've been a losin' gambler, just throwin' snake eyes, Love ain't got me downhearted. I know up around the corner lies, My fool's paradise in just another roll of the dice.” After he broke up the E Street Band in October 1989, Springsteen wrote lyrics for the Roll of the Dice (with two other songs) and liked them to the point where he began writing and recording more songs.
27. Queen of Diamonds - Tom Odell
Here’s one song about a gambling fanatic who’s trying to satisfy his own addiction but also someone else, hoping it’s going to save him. Released in 2018, Queen of Diamonds is Tom Odell’s song from the album Jubilee Road, based on the local characters that inspired this British songwriter to include the whisky-soaked gamblers who regularly visited one betting shop.
26. The Angel and the Gambler - Iron Maiden
Now, this song may divide Iron Maiden fans and it’s most probably because of its repetitive lyrics that can be a bit annoying. The release we’re talking about is The Angel and the Gambler. Truth be told, the melody in general is very catchy and, even a bit similar to The Who in some moments. As the song was released in 1998 while Blaze Bayley was its frontmen, it’s missing the well-known high-pitch vocals from Bruce Dickinson.
25. Ramblin' Gamblin Man - Bob Seger
We’re moving on to a rock single from 1978 - Ramblin' Gamblin Man by Bob Seger. The author meets an old acquaintance, a professional gambler who happens to be a swagger. As such, he attracts people’s attention whenever he bets. Putting so much of his faith in the cards (rather than in people), he walks away every time, just before avoiding loss. Along the way, the narrator realises that, if you scratch beneath the surface, you’ll find he’s a very cynical man, who will never change. Another gambling-themed song worth mentioning by Bob Seger is Still The Same.
24. Blow Up The Pokies - The Whitlams
Blow up the Pokies is the next song on our list, played by The Whitlams. It is the second single by the group from their 4th studio album, Love This City. Released in the year 2000, the song became a hit and made it to number 21 on the ARIA Singles Chart. According to several resources, the lyrics written by singer Tim Freedman were inspired by the destruction he saw in original Whitlams bassist Andy Lewis's life, due to his gambling addiction.
23. A Good Run of Bad Luck - Clint Black
Now here’s one 1994-song packed with gambling-related terms. As you listen to A Good Run of Bad Luck, recorded by American music artist Clint Black, you'll have a bit of fun as you try identifying what all these gambling terms mean. The song is a bit fast and is about falling in love by using gambling metaphors. The main character is willing to spend a lot of money to win his special lady over and, although he has had a period of bad luck, he is not giving up – “I've been to the table, and I've lost it all before, I'm willin' and able, always comin' back for more.”
22. When You’re Hot, You’re Hot - Jerry Reed
Jerry Reed won a Grammy for the song When You’re Hot, You’re Hot which was released in 1971. Most people remember it as it was a major hit, ranked as number 1 in the country charts, also making its way up the Pop Top 40. It’s an enjoyable novelty song about the ups and downs of the gambling life, about one’s winning streak caught in an illegal game of Crap. Country star Jerry Reed also came up with a version The Uptown Poker Club in 1973.
21. Lawyers, Guns and Money - Warren Zevon
Next one up - Lawyers, Guns and Money is a song by Warren Zevon, the closing track on his album Excitable Boy, released in 1978. An edited version of this song was distributed as a single and found itself on the A Quiet Normal Life best of compilation on the CD and LP. The song goes like this - “I went home with a waitress the way I always do, how was I to know she was with the russians, too? I was gambling in Havana, I took a little risk Send lawyers, guns, and money Dad, get me out of this, hiyah!”
20. The Lottery Song - Harry Nilsson
According to the man in the 1972 pop-rock song The Lottery Song by Harry Nilsson, there's more than one way to get to Vegas. Addressing his lover, the narrator mentions a few different options for buying a ticket and going to Sin City – “We could win the lottery we could go to Vegas,” and “We could wait till summer, we could save our money” as well as “We could make a record, sell a lot of copies, we could play Las Vegas.”
19. Casino Queen - Wilco
Now here’s one black-humoured gambling-themed song, released in 1995 and titled after a casino. Featuring a dirty electric guitar, Casino Queen was composed by an American songwriter, Jeff Tweedy, who wrote this song after playing a game in a riverboat casino accompanied by his dad. Inspired by the event, the author wrote: “Casino Queen my lord you're mean, I've been gambling like a fiend on your tables so green.”
18. Have a Lucky Day - Morphine
Another song on our list that you simply must check out starts like this: “I feel lucky, I just feel that way, I'm on a bus to Atlantic City later on today. Now I'm sitting at a blackjack table and swear to God the dealer has a tag says, "Mabel." Hit me, hit me! I smile at Mabel, soon they're bringing complimentary drinks to the table.” Check it out yourself - it’s called Have a Lucky Day by Morphine.
17. Kentucky Gambler - Merle Haggard
Written by Dolly Parton and released in 1974, Merle Haggard’s Kentucky Gambler is another song on our ultimate gambling playlist that you should pay attention to. It’s about a miner from Kentucky who leaves his family to gamble, under the bright lights of Reno. Unsurprisingly, his winning streak comes to an end, and he loses all his winnings. All broke, he decided to return back home only when he arrived, he found out his wife was involved with someone else.
16. The Jack - AC/DC
The next song on our list will give you some adrenaline boost, for sure. It goes like this - “She gave me the queen, she gave me the king, she was wheelin' and dealin', just doin' her thing, she was holdin' a pair, but I had to try…” Sounds familiar? This song from the 1975s is called The Jack and is played by AC/DC and there’s no way you can skip it.
15. Blackjack - Ray Charles
Moving on to something a bit different - a melody that blackjack lovers can listen to as they play is Ray Charles’ Blackjack. Apart from being a good quality song from 1955, it carries an important message with an emphasis on how brutal the game of blackjack can be. Some sources say that Ray Charles wrote it after beating T-Bone Walker at a blackjack game session. Yet another Ray Charles’ famous song about gambling is called a Losing Hand.
14. Ooh Las Vegas - Gram Parson
“Ooh, Las Vegas, ain't no place for a poor boy like me”... is a song-into for Ooh Las Vegas which was written by Gram Parsons and Ric Grech. It was first released by Gram Parsons with Emmylou Harris in 1974. Playing this song would be perfect for the beginning of the road trip (i.e. to Las Vegas), especially if you have the energy to sing along.
13. The Stranger - Leonard Cohen
Published in 1968 and performed by Leonard Cohen, The Stranger appears in the The Ernie Game movie about a man released from a mental asylum. More appropriately, it is the perfect opening song in the 1971 Western McCabe & Mrs Miller, in which Warren Beatty plays a gambler. As you listen to this song (without watching the movie), it makes you see fascinating images of card games, smoky dreams, and concepts of risk versus safety.
12. Desperado - Eagles
Written by Glen Frey and Don Henley, Desperado song is one of The Eagles’ greatest hits from their 1973 album of the same name. The song features a classic tune while the ballad tells the story of a lone wolf imprisoned by his loneliness. As for the lyrics, they have loads of card references mentioning the queen of diamonds, the queen of hearts, and so on.
11. Huck's Tune - Bob Dylan
The next song on our list is about the risks of poker, money, and relationships, which are precisely what the movie Lucky You is all about. Does it ring a bell? That’s right, this 2007 song is called Huck’s Tune and is performed by Bob Dylan. Each of us can all relate to lines "You push it all in, and you've no chance to win, you play 'em on down to the end." Play the song and you’ll enjoy more than 4 amazing minutes of Bob Dylan. Likewise, Bob Dylan recorded Rambling, Gambling Willie and Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts, both excellent and both inspired by gambling.
10. Four Little Diamonds - Electric Light Orchestra
A song by the British rock band Electric Light Orchestra Four Little Diamonds was released in 1983 and found itself on the album Secret Messages. The single wasn’t so popular in the US, being only 2 weeks on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, at number 86, and number 84 in the UK. This song refers to the singer’s cheating lover who tricked him out of a ring which had 'four little diamonds' on it.
9. You Can't Beat The House - Mark Knopfler
Moving on to our next choice for the day, You Can’t Beat the House. It’s the third song on the Get Lucky studio album released in 2009 by British singer-songwriter and guitarist Mark Knopfler. The album and the songs received favorable reviews with the album reaching the top three positions on album charts in Denmark, Germany, Italy, the Netherlands, Norway, and Poland. The singer’s divine voice combined with beautiful music and lyrics goes like this – “You can't bear the house, you can't bear the house, tell the man somebody, you can't beat the house.”
8. Deck of Cards - Don Williams
Deck of Cards is a recitation song that tells the story of a soldier who gets caught while playing cards in church and then faces a sentence from a superior officer. The soldier defends his case, explaining he wasn't about to deal a hand of poker, but was rather confirming his faith with the cards. Performed by T. Texas Tyler, the song managed to become a major hit in the 1940s and 1950s. Also, Wink Martindale had an even bigger hit with his 1959 cover, with a successful version by Don Williams featuring Tex Ritter and Buddy Cole.
7. Gambler’s Blues - B.B. King
First recording of the song Gambler’s Blues by B.B. King was in 1966, and it was released in 1967. The song appears on the album Back in the Alley (1970). Some say gambling and blues go hand in hand, so if you (gambling fans) haven’t heard it, listen and see for yourself.
6. Tumbling Dice - Rolling Stones
One of our favourite songs on the list is Tumbling Dice, written by Mick Jagger and Keith Richards. It tells the story of a gambler who can’t remain faithful to any woman. Being released in the 1970s and featuring a blues boogie-woogie rhythm, the song was and still is one of the greatest singles of all time. Rolling Stones also recorded Casino Boogie, and it’s from their 1972 album, Exile on Main St.
5. Luck Be A Lady - Frank Sinatra
The next song on our list is about a gambler who hopes that he will win a bet, the outcome of which will decide whether he is able to save his relationship with the girl of his dreams. You probably know what song we’re talking about; it’s called Luck be a Lady released in 1965 and performed by one of the most popular musical artists - Frank Sinatra.
4. Deal - Grateful Dead
Next one up is the song Deal. It was first performed by the Grateful Dead in 1971, as a regular part of the repertoire through their 1970's tour. Although being less common to the fans during the 1990s, the band continued to perform it. The singer opens with the message: “Since it cost a lot to win and even more to lose you and me bound to spend some time wondering what to choose,” that later kicks off with a chorus: “Don't let your deal go down...” Loser is another song first performed by the Grateful Dead in 1971 as well, heavily played during 1971 and 1972.
3. Ace of Spades - Motörhead
Ok, the next song is loaded with some great gambling verses like "The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say, I don't share your greed, the only card I need is the Ace of Spades" will definitely set you in the right mood for hitting some winning combinations. Released in 1980, the song was inspired by slot machines that the lead singer Ian Fraser “Lemmy” Kilmister played in London pubs.
2. Viva Las Vegas - Elvis
As soon as you start playing the second song from our playlist “Viva Las Vegas,” you’ll probably picture a huge casino and a great gaming atmosphere. Performed by the legendary Elvis Presley, the 1964-released song brings the glamour of the city, and its beat will get you in the mood for some serious gameplay. This song was written for the movie of the same name starring Elvis Presley, in which he plays a race car driver waiting tables at a hotel to pay off a debt. There’s this famous scene when he performs this song at the talent competition alongside many showgirls.
1. The Gambler - Kenny Rogers
Performed by the legendary country singer Kenny Rogers, The Gambler song is our number 1 - it's full of some betting advice that are relevant today, even though it was released more than 40 years ago, in 1978. Here’s how it goes… “If you're gonna play the game, boy you gotta learn to play it right, you've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run.” These classic chorus lines were told from the first-person perspective inspired by a conversation the author had with an experienced poker player on a train. Written in the form of poker metaphors, Schlitz wrote the tune in honor of his late father. Johnny Cash is also among other musicians who recorded The Gambler in 1978, on Gone Girl.
I'm a longtime student of history, but my first and original passion has always been the American Civil War. This CMV is intended as a refutation to many modern interpretations that General Robert E. Lee, the Confederacy's chief field commander in the Eastern Theater of the war, was somehow a bad strategist or bad general. It's not a super common opinion but I've seen it in many places, and I think I'm as capable as anyone of constructing a refutation. Disclaimer: This is not a Lost Cause-ism post. Robert E. Lee was a slaveowner, his opinions on the institution can at best be described as "Whiggish", and he was part of an illegal secession attempt triggered by a slaveholding elite that started the American Civil War in order to preserve their right to own humans as property. I do not intend this post as a defense of the Confederacy or an attempt to whitewash the moral catastrophe that was American slavery. This CMV focuses on Lee's military qualities. First, a quick review of Lee's life. Robert E. Lee was the son of "Light Horse Harry" Lee, a Revolutionary cavalry leader whose financial incompetence doomed the Lees to near poverty by Virginia upper-class standards. Lee was never a big plantation owner or a Southern capitalist; he faced very real doubts about his ability to sustain his family when the Army cut pay in the 1830s. Lee attended West Point, graduating second in his class in 1829, and embarked on a military career. Advancement was slow in the Old Army, so by 1846 and the Mexican War he was still a Captain of Engineers. An outstanding performance in the Mexican War led to eventual promotion to Colonel right before the Civil War, when Lee defected South upon Virginia's secession. From 1861 to mid 1862, Lee was essentially Jefferson Davis's chief military advisor, though he was in an intentionally ambiguous position much of the time with little decision-making ability. He "oversaw" an abortive West Virginia campaign in 1861 and served on the East Coast from 1861-62 shoring up Confederate defenses in that area. From about March to May 1862, Lee stayed in Richmond, during which he coordinated and largely conceived of Stonewall Jackson's valley campaign. By 1862, Union armies had closed in on Richmond, and Confederate General J.E. Johnston was wounded commanding an attempt to drive them off. Davis replaced Johnston with Lee, the logical choice. Initial Confederate apprehension about Lee (up until now his reputation had been quite poor) dissolved after Lee and his Army of Northern Virginia launched heavy attacks on the Union forces, driving them from Richmond. This is the start of the Lee "mythos." From this point in 1862 until his surrender at Appomattox, Lee commanded the Army of Northern Virginia against increasingly long odds as Union forces grew stronger and their tactics grew smarter. He followed up his victories at Richmond with a brilliant campaign and victory at Second Bull Run (Aug 29-30, 1862) and tried to follow up his momentum by invading the north. A sudden reversal of fortune resulted in Lee's army fighting for its life at Antietam (Sept 17, 1862), a tactical Confederate victory but a strategic failure. Successes against much stronger Union armies at Fredericksburg (Dec 13, 1862) and especially Lee's greatest victory, Chancellorsville (May 1-4, 1863) led to another attempted invasion of the north and the climactic Battle of Gettysburg (July 1-3, 1863), Lee's greatest defeat. Lee abandoned his aggressive strategy after Gettysburg. In 1864, General Ulysses S. Grant took charge of Union forces in the east, and he and Lee fought a bloody campaign of attrition down to Richmond. With Lee pinned against Richmond's lines of supply at Petersburg, Grant was slowly able to whittle him down and starve his army. Lee's attempt to escape Grant's trap culminated in the pursuit to and surrender at Appomattox (April 9, 1865). Lee had his troops lay down their arms and accept generous terms from Grant which involved no prisoners or reprisals, and retired to virtual poverty. His final job was as President of Washington and Lee University, where he died in 1870. Defense 1: Lee's Battle Record Lee was probably the outstanding tactician of the war. He was a very aggressive commander, but was also content to let his opponent smash his head against strong defenses (Fredericksburg, Spotsylvania, Cold Harbor, Petersburg). Lee, though, always sought the destruction of his opponent's army. In this he was similar to the other great general of the war, Grant, another "army destroyer." Lee's two major mistakes in attacking - Malvern Hill and Gettysburg - occurred because of his misjudgment that the enemy was ready to break. This misjudgment happened because Lee had seen his attacks work many times before and gained a poor sense of the situation due to subordinate reports and his own nature. Lee's aggression was not recklessness - for that see John Bell Hood or Judson Kilpatrick. Every attack he made was conducted with a broader view to destroying the enemy army and winning the war, even if it seemed like a long shot, rather than attacking for attacking's sake. From the moment Lee attacked McClellan in the Seven Days' Battles around Richmond, he psychologically dominated the Army of the Potomac. Union knowledge of Lee's aggressive nature and his willingness to confront them led them to exaggerate his numbers; his smaller army had more of an impact due to his use of maneuver and the offensive. This led them to make mistakes they normally wouldn't and be cautious when they shouldn't, a malaise that Grant would complain about in 1864. Lee's greatest victories were achieved by offensive action against a much larger opponent - Second Bull Run and Chancellorsville. His greatest battlefield defeats - Malvern Hill and Gettysburg - were achieved the same way. Even his defeats, though, cowed his opponents; McClellan at Malvern Hill continued to retreat after the battle instead of counterattacking, and Meade famously declined to exploit Lee's defeat at Gettysburg out of reasonable respect for Lee's fighting ability. This brings me to my second defense: Defense 2: Lee's Strategy - Casualties, Invasions, Battles The most common and pointed critique of Lee is that he was a poor strategist. I think this is incorrect. Some argue that Lee's offensive strategy cost the Confederacy men they could not afford to lose and wasted resources that could have been better spent in the West. There is something to this. Lee's battles were always bloody, and he always both inflicted and suffered much higher casualty rates than normal for even the Civil War. However, most of these critics don't offer a very convincing second option for what the Confederacy was supposed to do. Many of them point to Joseph Johnston, whose Fabian strategies delayed McClellan at Richmond and Sherman at Atlanta. This criticism invites the simple response that Johnston was about to lose these cities without a battle. McClellan was weeks away from bringing up siege artillery to bombard Richmond, and nothing short of attacking would dislodge him. Lee's assaults on McClellan were bloody, but if Lee doesn't launch those attacks the Confederacy ceases to exist in 1862. Without attacking Northern forces, they could just creep up and gradually overwhelm Confederate armies - the exact situation Lee sought to avoid. Lee understood the position of the Confederacy. By the time he took command, Kentucky, Missouri, and Tennessee were long gone, and the Union was embedded in Mississippi and Louisiana. Lee understood that the South's resources could not win a long war of attrition; the Confederacy could not win on purely military terms. The South had to win by eroding the North's will to continue the fight - which was not a guarantee. The only chances for Confederate victory were in 1862 and 1864 when the United States had its midterm and presidential elections, or a European intervention that was probably never going to happen. A large shock to Union morale and will to fight seemed to be the only logical way to guarantee a peace faction coming to power in the North. Time worked both for and against the Confederacy. Lee understood that drawing out the war could assist the peace faction in the north and make it seem unwinnable; at the same time, there was a very real danger the South would lose the war before that produced any fruit. A year after Fort Sumter, like I said above, the South had suffered repeated and heavy defeats and looked like it might collapse in 1862. Time also worked against the South as they only got weaker with every month of the war as their economy collapsed, while the North's industrial strength, greater command of logistics, and much larger manpower meant they only grew stronger with time. Lee determined that the war had to be won quickly - the use of Confederate blood to win an early, decisive victory would save Confederate lives later in his mind. This also explains his failed gambles at Malvern Hill and Gettysburg: desperation and the need to win a decisive, army-destroying victory now because there might not be a second chance. Also up for criticism are Lee's invasions of the north. These were very sound logistically and strategically; Lee wanted to reprovision his forces in an area that had not been stripped bare by armies unlike Virginia. He sought battle with Union forces because of the moral impact (see below) of a victory on Northern soil. Gettysburg did not have to happen the way it did; there are many possibilities in 1863 that result in a Confederate victory in the North. In short, Lee's offensive strategy was the only one that gave the Confederacy a chance of winning, even if it cost high casualties. Waiting for the North to come to them on their own ground was not a winning strategy - all the generals who tried it ended up losing the battles and the ground. Wars, though, are not just battles, manpower counts, industrial strength and territory. Wars are moral, psychological, human. This brings me to my third point. Defense 3: The Moral Factor Lee understood better than anyone on the Confederate side, and as well as anyone on either side except Lincoln, that morale and psychology are important but intangible aspects of war. Material is vital but it is not enough. There have been multiple times in human history when a smaller and less wealthy nation repelled a larger and stronger one, and this was usually based not on simple material factors but on a gradual erosion of the larger nation's will to win. As I noted above, Lee understood that the North's resources, if applied, would eventually destroy the South. He therefore had not to defeat the North in a battle that relied on material or attrition, a war the South would inevitably lose, but instead break the will of the Northern public to continue the fight. Lee read Northern newspapers and measured the pulse of Northern public opinion, especially around election season. He stated to his staff that he wanted to influence midterm elections, give a boost to Peace Democrats in the North, help stoke discontent after Lincoln's declaration of a draft, and after Lincoln was reelected in 1864 privately admitted that their last real hope for victory was gone. Lee followed the Clausewitzian model of tying his military strategy to political ends. To break the Northern will, Lee could not just defend. That was the policy of other generals and it had proven a failure. No, Lee had to try and inflict enough damage on the Union armies - hopefully even a battle of destruction or annihilation - and do it in a time and place that guaranteed maximum moral impact. This was the main reason for his two invasions of the North. Lee and the Army of Northern Virginia were also critical to Confederate morale. Judging from newspapers, correspondence, and memoirs, the lowest point of Confederate morale before the final months of the war had been in mid-1862, when everything seemed to be falling apart all at once, before Lee and his army saved the Confederacy from what seemed like the brink of defeat at Richmond. After that, his record of military success maintained high Confederate morale and belief in the cause even when he was defeated, or reversals happened elsewhere. Lee and his Army were the only organs of the Confederate government that worked as intended, and through them the South kept faith that the war could be won. By late 1864, Lee and his army by and large were the Confederacy. No one placed any faith in Davis, or the Congress, or any other military force in the Confederacy; even fading and broken, Lee and his army remained the focal point of Confederate morale. There is a reason that their surrender at Appomattox - not the capture of Richmond or of Jeff Davis, or even the surrender of the last Confederate forces - has endured in popular memory as the end of the Civil War. Without Robert E. Lee, the Confederacy dies in 1862. Whether you think that is a laudable eventuality or not, it is a testament to the military skill, strategy, and political understanding of Lee. Conclusion I have more points to make, but this is already really long. I could discourse about Lee's selection and handling of subordinates (which had some weaknesses, though by and large was a well-ordered system), his handling of logistics and administration, and his relationship with peers and political figures. All of these are also qualities that make him an excellent commander, but the main points are above. Again, I must emphasize. The Confederacy, founded on slavery, tried to secede from the Union in order to perpetuate that rotten institution, and Lee can accurately be regarded as a traitor for leading its armies. That is not evidence in and of itself that he led that army poorly, though. Change My View, if you can. I am interested in other perspectives, because I'm pretty convinced of this, but I am quite capable of changing my mind if new evidence or overlooked evidence is presented.
Michigan Wolverines men's basketball: Three Decades of Failure (aka the Curse of Chris Webber)
Hi guys, long time no see. I'm back again with yet another Legacy of Failure. And this new LoF is heavily inspired by Tree's new LoF for the Maple Leafs. May not be as dramatic by I'll do my best. And I'm also doing this LoF post because of the dire situation College Sports is in right now. But I'll explain more of that at the end of this rant. Now, let us begin, with the One Billionth roasting of my favorite College team, the Michigan Wolverines, but in basketball edition. April 3, 1989 - "Michigan is only 3 seconds away from claiming it's first ever national championship and becoming the first team to win both the Rose Bowl and the NCAA in one year. P.J. Carlesimo can not change, he is out of timeouts...they're gonna have to get the ball over Mills who will try to Harris, the big man on the throw-in...starts when touched, long pass, Walker, Green battle, fires up, it's over! Michigan has won the National Championship! Well done, Michigan, after your first two attempts failed you have finally climbed to the top of the College Basketball world! Feels good, eh? The basketball National Championship is finally in your hands. With some of your top stars like Glen Rice moving away to the NBA draft, great challenges are sure to rise, but you've still got plenty of time to cement yourself among the Blue Bloods of College Basketball. The Future looks bright for you... 1989 offseason - After leading your team to a National Championship as an interim coach after we told that underachieving fuck Bill Frieder to fuck off, Steve Fisher is now officially your new head coach. Things are looking promising indeed... 1990 - Yes they are as Coach Fisher leads the Wolverines to another strong season at 23-8 and the #3 seed in the West Regional bracket! Unfortunately they are they pounded in the second round by 11th seeded....LOYOLA MARYMOUNT?! AND THEY DROPPED 149 POINTS ON YOU?!! Jesus Christ what a complete slaughter...this has got to be the worst title defense effort I have ever seen in my life!! Please don't let this be a sign of bad things to come... 1991 - Turns out that Loyola Marymount whooped Michigan's ass so hard that they completely fell to shit and missed the Big Dance. Guess 1989 was a fluke after all...things need to change and fast... 1991 offseason - The Wolverines end up making the offseason splash to end all splashes. They end up recruiting what is arguably the most promising Freshman squad in College Basketball history. With their totally gangsta "Boys 'n the Hood" persona, baggy shorts and Ice-T like personalities, All-American High School basketball star Chris Webber, Juwan Howard, Jalen Rose, along with Texas-sized high school basketball stars in Jimmy King and Ray Jackson, they form a new College Basketball superteam simply known as - the "Fab Five." The rest of the College Basketball world better get ready to protect their balls from being kicked in, because the Wolverine basketball Empire is about to begin...MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!! 1992 - Though not perfect, the Fab Five do not disappoint and finish with a solid 25-9 record and the #6 seed in the Southeast Region. 1992 NCAA Tournament - The Fab Five manage to win Tournament games against Temple and East Tennessee State in the first and second rounds respectively. After narrowly defeating Oklahoma State in the Sweet 16, they make it to an Elite Eight showdown with their biggest rival - those Buckeye fucks from Ohio State. Bring down the hammer. 1992 NCAA Tournament, Elite Eight - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! How do you like dem apples, Suckeyes?!! The Wolverines pull off the upset in OT and make it to their 5th Final Four! Go take your sorry asses back to Columbus, Suckeyes, it's time for the Wolverines to form...the Empire... 1992 Final Four - The Cinderella run for the Fab Five continues as Michigan edges past 4th seeded Cincinnati in the National Semifinal, and on their way to the National Championship game against those fuckers from Duke. Christian Laettner, Grant Hill and Coach K won't know what kind of freight train is gonna hit them! Move over, Blue Devils, here come the Wolverines!! 1992 National Championship Game - Here come the Wolverines as they blow their halftime lead and do absolutely nothing in the 2nd half as Duke goes on to repeat as National Champions and form their own Empire instead. Like seriously, you couldn't even try to make it close? Fuck off with your choking. Oh well, still a successful season though. Next year you'll get over the hump! 1993 - What did I tell you? The Fab Five make the rest of the Big Ten into their bitch and finish the season with Michigan's best record yet at 26-4 and the #1 seed in the West regional! Onto your glorious future! 1993 NCAA Tournament, Second Round - Ugh, you're already blowing it in the second round against UCLA?! Just get it over with already so I can hit the Molson bottles...wait...Michigan...didn't choke?! 1993 NCAA Tournament, Elite Eight - After defeating Temple you finally make it back to the Final Four, and you have a tough challenge coming up against those Wildcats from Kentucky in New Orleans. I'm not too sure about this... 1993 Final Four - Did you just pull off a shocker against Kentucky in OT without making a single 3-point shot?! Well, I may have faith in you once more! You once again make it back to the National Championship...and you're facing that OTHER ACC powerhouse in North Carolina. You're even ranked higher than they are and have a good shot at winning! Don't blow this again... 1993 National Championship Game - Okay, you're down by 2 with only 19 seconds remaining. Try and at least send this into OT for now... "Michigan...will have to bring it in-OH HE WALKED!! HE WALKED IT AND A REFEREE MISSED IT!! Webber brings it into the front court, they have no timeouts remaining-OH HE CALLED TOO MANY TIMEOUTS, it's a technical foul! He called a timeout, Michigan didn't have any! He got by with a walk, he calls a timeout, he doesn't realize that's Michigan's 'too many', and so it will be a technical foul, North Carolina shooting, and the ball." Are you fucking kidding me? Instead of going into a corner you could have attempted a 3 point shot or passed to another open player. For fucks sake, the refs and the Tar Heels were literally HANDING you the game on a silver platter and you blew it yet again. You are utterly pathetic. Complete and utter garbage. I hope you don't make it this far in the tournament again for another 20 years. May 1993 haunt you for eternity!! What a truly...pathetic display.YOU BLEW IT!!! 1994 - After that impressive chokejob, the Fab Five devolve into the Fab Four as Chris Webber fucked off to the NBA Draft. Nonetheless, the remaining 4 Fab Five players lead Michigan to yet another strong regular season finish at 21-6 and the #3 seed in the West Region. They make it back to the Elite Eight only to have their hopes and dreams smashed by Arkansas. President Bill Clinton laughs at your pathetic excuse for a basketball team as his Razorbacks go on to win the National Title. The window is beginning to slam shut... 1995 - The Fab Four has now become the Fab Two as Juwan Howard and Jalen Rose have left for the NBA. The Wolverines barely squeak into the NCAA Tournament as the #9 seed in the Midwest region...only to lose to...fucking Western Kentucky?! In OT?! The hell??! 1996 - The Fab Five era has officially ended at Michigan, but the Wolverines still make it back to the NCAA Tournament with an improved 21-10 record and the #7 seed in the Midwest Region. Only to receive a Lone Star State-sized ass whooping at the hands of Texas in the first round. 1997 - Despite another winning record you miss out on the NCAA tournament for the first time in 6 years. You at least make the NIT, and you win THAT tournament's championship game against Florida State?! I...guess that's impressive. Michigan fans, I hate to say it but this is your team's best moment since 1989. Cherish it. Because you're not gonna like what's coming next. 1997 offseason - Michigan then rewards Steve Fisher's efforts for winning the NIT tournament...by firing him before the start of next season during a scandal...which we will explain next. Let's rewind the tape a bit... 1996 - Michigan has plans to rebuild back into a powerhouse. They decide to recruit an upcoming high school star from Flint named Mateen Cleaves. As he and Maurice Taylor are driving to Ann Arbor, they lose control of their Ford Explorer on M-14 and flip over. Turns out they were going to visit a prominent...University of Michigan booster named Ed Martin. Who apparently supplied players with money...and ran an illegal gambling operation...and a money laundering operation...which are in violation of NCAA rules. Oops. Let's hope the NCAA sweeps this whole thing under the rug...if not then you are totally fucked... 1998 - With Steve Fisher gone your new head coach is Brian Ellerbe. Thanks to stars like "Tractor" Traylor and Louis Bullock the Wolverines finish with a strong 24-8 record. They manage to win another tournament game and move on to the next round...where they are then upset by UCLA. Now is where the real suffering begins... 1999 - Turns out that Ellerbe's first season was a fluke and your window has now slammed shut on your hands. You're terrible again! You turn into a laughing stock by finishing dead last in the Big Ten. 2000 - You are so trash that you lose in the first round...of the NIT tournament...to the Fighting Irish...trash. 2000 National Championship Game - Remember that Mateen Cleaves guy you tried to recruit? Well, turns out he became a contributor to your rival Michigan State's run to a second National Title. May your suffering continue... 2001 - You finish near the bottom of the Big Ten yet again with a 10-18 record. The team is choking so hard that they tell Brian Ellerbe and his choking ways to fuck off. But wait, there's more! 2002 - Good news is that the NCAA decides not to put sanctions on you. The bad news is...your University's administration decides to do the NCAA's job for them. As a result of the Ed Martin scandal, University of Michigan administrators decide to vacate your entire 1993 season, as well as each game from the 1995 to the 1999 season. Also, your appearance in the 1992 Final Four has been vacated. Not the entire tournament, just the Final Four. Jesus Christ, even after 1993, the College Basketball world is still sodomizing this team with a chainsaw... 2002, continued - With Brian Ellerbe gone, Michigan decides to recruit the glorious....TOMMY AMAKER...oh Christ, you are so fucked...my condolences... 2004 - You finished with a 18-11 record? At least you made the NIT...and you won the NIT again against Rutgers? Well, I'll be damned, at least it's not all torture. 2006 - You made the NIT tournament again but you lose to South Carolina in the championship game. Please tell me there's a light at the end of the tunnel...soon... 2007 - The Tommy Amaker era is finally over, now get the fuck out of here with your losing. 2007 offseason - It's time for us to hire a real head coach again. This John Beilein guy will do. 2009 - John Beilein's effects on the team are very positive, as thanks to new recruits such as Zack Novak, Stu Douglass and DeShaun Sims, the Wolverines FINALLY make it back to the NCAA tournament after 11 years. They make it in as the #10 seed in the South regional and pull off an upset against Clemson in the first round...but in the second round they are then defeated by Blake Griffin and Oklahoma. You've got promise though. Keep it going. 2011 - After a disappointing 2010 season the Wolverines finally make it back to the NCAA tournament, this time as an #8 seed in the West Region. After pulverizing Tennessee in the first round, they clash with their old foe from years past in Duke in the second round...only to be narrowly defeated in the final seconds. Man, fuck those assholes from Duke... 2012 - Thanks to new recruits Trey Burke, Tim Hardaway Jr., and Jordan Morgan, the Wolverines experience their best season in ages and finish the regular season ranked for the first time in 15 years. They're the #4 seed in the Midwest region...and the lose in the first round...to Ohio. Yes...Ohio. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LOSE TO A FUCKING MAC TEAM IN THE FIRST ROUND ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME...GET ME THE GODDAMN BLEACH. 2013 - Anyway, let's just look at the fact that the Wolverines just recruited the top class in the country for 2013. New recruits Mitch McGary, Nik Stauskas and Glenn Robinson III join Trey Burke and Tim Hardaway Jr. in forming...the new Fab Five. At least this reincarnation won't be scandal ridden. 2013, continued - Michigan experiences their best season since the Fab Five era as they pull off numerous feats, starting of the season 19-1, being ranked #1 in the AP Poll for the first time in two decades and finishing with a 26-7 regular season record. They are the #4 seed in the South region, and they steamroll past South Dakota State and VCU to reach their first Sweet 16 appearance since 1994. 2013 NCAA Tournament, Sweet 16 - Ugh, you're down by 3 against Kansas in the final seconds...just get it over with-you're not choking? You pulled off the upset in OT? Say it isn't so! 2013 NCAA Tournament, Elite Eight - And then you embarrass Florida and finally make it back to the promised land - your first Final Four appearance in 20 years. And you're facing another tough opponent looking to end their own championship drought in Syracuse. Eh, they made it far enough, it's your time now! 2013 Final Four - You manage to take out Syracuse and you make it back to the National Championship! And you're facing yet another team with a lengthy championship drought in Louisville. Hell, some have listed you as an upset favorite to win the title! Bring it home! 2013 National Championship Game - You're up by 12 in the first half...now finish them!!! Second Half - What?! WHAT?!! You seriously blew a 12 point lead to a Louisville team that was all but handing you the game?! I...I can't even...just fuck off already. Time to hit the bleach again...YOU BLEW IT!!! 2014 - New year, strong start. You're the #2 seed in the Midwest Region and are heavy favorites to win the title. Duke and Wichita State all choked early so you have a chance to make the Final Four again. Don't disappoint... 2014 NCAA Tournament, Elite Eight - You're up by 10 against an 8th seeded Kentucky team. Finish them off-wait, you blew that lead too? What the fuck is wrong with you and blowing leads to inferior competition?! Well, this bleach ain't gonna drink itself... 2016 - After collapsing in the 2015 season, the team is back in rebuilding mode again, but makes it back to the NCAA Tournament. Though you manage to defeat Tulsa in the First Four you are then pulverized by Notre Dame in the first round. The window is shutting again...wonderful... 2017 - Or not! After a sluggish start, new recruits Jordan Poole, Isaiah Livers, German phenom Moe Wagner, and Muhammad-Ali Abdur-Rakman, the Wolverines manage to win the Big Ten tournament and gain an automatic bid to the NCAA Tournament as a #7 seed in the Midwest Region. After squeaking by Oklahoma State in the first round, they then get revenge on Louisville for 2013 and return to the Sweet 16. Unfortunately, they are edged out by Oregon, a team that hadn't made the Final Four in almost 80 years. Woof. 2017 offseason - Great news! Turns out that due to a sex scandal involving head coach Rick Pitino, Louisville has been forced to vacate their 2013 title! So I guess you can call yourselves the unofficial champions? At least you don't have to hang your heads in shame anymore...yay? 2018 - You win the Big Ten Tournament yet again and finish the regular season with a 28-7 record. You are the #3 seed in the West Region. Please let this be the year... 2018 NCAA Tournament, Second Round - Ugh, you're down by 2 against Houston? Just get it over wi- "At mid court, extra pass...'buzzer sounds'...IN IT GOES FOR THE WIN!!! THE THREE POINTER...BY JORDAN POOLE!!!" You're not choking... 2018 NCAA Tournament, Sweet 16 - You're gonna lose to Texas A&M?! They haven't made it out of the Sweet 16 in their EXISTENCE for god's sake. Don't tell me you're gonna shit the be-you're not choking? 2018 NCAA Tournament, Elite Eight - Are you seriously trying to hand Florida State the game here? Quit playing down to your competition! Do something for once! Beat their asse-you're...not...choking? You made the Final Four? And you're facing the Cinderella team of the decade in Loyola-Chicago? I'll be damned. 2018 Final Four - After being down by 11 to Loyola-Chicago you come back to beat Loyola-Chicago by 12 and ruin Sister Jean's hopes for a second national title for the state of Illinois. You're back in the Championship game, and you're facing a tough opponent in Villanova. Will this be the year you finally break through?! 2018 National Championship Game - And you then proceed to blow yet another lead and get Death Starred by the Wildcats. Your best season since 1989, and you get turned into a laughing stock once again. Like seriously, you couldn't even make a close game out of this? God, you're pathetic. And as a result of all this choking you now have the WORST ever record in the National Championship game of the teams that have won a National Title at 1-6. You are tied with Duke and Kansas for most losses in the National Title game. To quote Asuka from End of Evangelion, "Pathetic." I'm going to combine this bleach with fabric softener now. It's been ages since 1993 now and College Basketball is still sodomizing this team with a Chainsaw. 2019 - Okay, you may be the #3 seed in the West region again but your window is beginning to slam shut now. Please, do SOMETHING!! You don't. You get embarrassed by Texas Tech in the Sweet 16 - a team that hadn't made it past the Sweet 16 in their existence. And now John Beilein has decided to fuck off to the NBA. Fuck...here come the dark ages again. 2020 - Former Fab Five alum Juwan Howard is your new head coach, and it turns out that he's not that bad. He leads you to a 19-12 start going into the Big Ten tournament...and then COVID-19 hits and the NCAA tells everyone to fuck off. No tournament this year... And I'm all out of bleach now. Maybe this team can let me down at my funeral like they have for the past decade... As a Michigan fan I feel completely broken. Years upon years of failure after that one magical season in 1989. Was this team really worth saving? All of the wasted talent, all of the chances they had to finally end the misery...and for what? A hollow claim to a paper championship in 2013 which Louisville vacated. A 1-6 record in the National Championship game. FOUR straight losses in the National Championship game since the 1989 title. Never ending misery thanks to the Curse of Chris Webber. But to be frank with you guys, I honestly think 2018 and 2019 were indeed Michigan's final chances to win a second national title. And it's beginning to look that way with the recent COVID pandemic, as the Big Ten has just decided to cancel football for the 2020 season. And if more conferences cancel, it will likely mean no college sports PERIOD this year. So the NCAA Tournament could be cancelled yet again. March Madness is at least 90% of the NCAA's budget revenue, and if the NCAA Tournament is cancelled for 2021, we could see not just the NCAA lose tons of money, but many college athletic departments go under. Welcome to what could be the College Sports apocalypse. And if you think that the Government is going to bail out any of these athletic departments while this country is still overcoming a loss of a third of it's GDP, I have a bridge in Northern Michigan that I'd like to sell you. There's no way these athletic departments are getting bailouts right after claiming non-profit status, but had the balls to ask the senate for anti-trust exemptions. Total lack of self awareness. We could witness the college sports version of the Smoot-Hawley act. If College Sports does return late in 2020 or in 2021, it's going to look very different, dramatically different, and it may be for the worse. And as a Michigan fan it makes me sad to think that the Wolverines may never win a title in college basketball or football ever again, especially since this pandemic is gonna have major financial ramifications, and potentially on the well known programs. We could see the end of College Sports in it's current form, or for good. And this will be a miserable time for fans of teams that are suffering from a major title drought like Michigan and others. Fuck this year. I'm beginning to think our world really did end on December 21, 2012, and we're all just living in a simulation now.
The 2018 Fulmer Cup Awards for Criminal Achievements in D1 Football
The 2018 Fulmer Cup™
Welcome to the Final Standings for the World's Most Prestigious College Football Award Based on Criminal Record, run by /CFB and based out of /TheFulmerCup. There are over 20,000 Division 1 college football players. As a whole, they have crime rates much lower than the general population. However when they do get in trouble (as 66 did this offseason), they get a lot of attention. For that reason we have The Fulmer Cup™. The Fulmer Cup is a parody award that tracks the criminal achievements of various college football programs during the offseason and declares a "winner". It is open to all Division 1 football programs (FBS & FCS), and points are awarded based on the level of crime (more details below). The Fulmer Cup season started the minute the national title game is finished and ended the minute of the the first game of FBS Week 0, this year on August 25. Without further ado, here are your 2018 winners:
The 13th Annual Fulmer Cup Rankings (FINAL)
NOTE: Team rankings require a minimum of 2 playecoaches; if a team only has one their score is marked as “NR” for Not Ranked, however if anyone else on the team gets cited for so much as jaywalking they'll qualify for the team competition and be ranked.
This was generally a quiet offseason compared to the last few. The total number of players receiving charges we've seen in each of the 5 years we've administered the Fulmer Cup are:
Year
Players Charged
2014
111
2015
123
2016
116
2017
136
2018
67
There are a few possibilities for such a dramatic reduction. It's possible that it was just an abnormally quiet offseason, it did feel that way for much of it at least. While half the normal case load seems quite low, it may be just to random chance. It's also possible that the growing notoriety of The Fulmer Cup has motivated D1 compliance departments and players to follow the rules and stay out of trouble. It's probably self-congratulatory to say we've helped here, but it is a possibility. It's also possible that we just weren't as thorough in finding charges this year. With a growing userbase this seems a bit unlikely, but it's also possible. A few major storylines to follow this year. Rutgers has become the first team in Fulmer Cup history to win the team award for a second time, and they did so with teamwork and following a storyline from last year. While Alcorn State was awarded last year's Fulmer Cup, Florida had 9 players receive 54 total felony charges that were earned during the offseason but not charged until after the season had started. These Florida players were charged with misusing university provided debit cards for credit card fraud, and while the charges came too late to win the cup, they were given a Special Achievement Award after the fact. A crew of 8 Rutgers players learned from Florida, and were charged with a very similar crime. These charges came in under the 2018 deadline. Brendan DeVera, K.J. Gray, Malik Dixon, Edwin Lopez, Kobe Marfo, Syhiem Simmons, C.J. Onyechi, Naijee Jones collectively netted 23 charges that included promoting organized street crime, money laundering, conspiracy to commit theft by deception, and fraudulent use of credit cards. This case also uncovered that Lopez had been separately charged with possession of marijuana, unlawful possession of a gun, and unlawfully concealing a handgun earlier in the offseason. They say that great artists steal, and stealing Florida's novel mechanism of stealing led Rutgers to a championship this year. It's a much more white collar crime to win the cup for than their 2015 spree of charges centering around conspiracy to commit a riot, but a win is a win for the world's oldest college football team. The leader for most of the offseason was Kennesaw State, a team entering only its 4th year in program history. A pair of their DBs, Jai'len Edwards and Akebren Ralls were charged with armed robbery, and Ralls additionally ran an illegal gambling house. North Alabama deserves special merit as they promoted to D1 halfway through the offseason, and only had one qualifying player, but the 3rd most points overall this offseason. Probably not the look they wanted their first year in D1. 3rd place Bowling Green deserves special recognition for consistency: they had 4 players receive charges over 5 separate months through the course of the offseason. No other team had charges in more than 3 months. We also had a pair of charges bookend the offseason. LSU LB Tyler Taylor was charged with conspiracy to commit a crime serving as a getaway driver for an armed robbery, just hours before the CFP Final. Kansas OL Malik Clark was charged with a DUI just hours after the first games of week 0. Neither of these offenses are eligible, but are worth special notice. Notable, but did not qualify for team category (only one player arrested):
North Alabama: 23 points
USC: 18 points
Utah State: 15 points
Florida: 15 points
Wisconsin: 14 points
LSU: 12 points
A total of 14 teams qualified for the cup with multiple players, and a total of 42 teams had at least one player receiving points.
The Ellis T. Jones III Award for Individual Achievement
Given to the individual player who contributes the most points to his team during the season, OR has the most incredible incident that resulted in Fulmer Cup points. Named after Ellis T. Jones III, a near-mythical student-athlete-criminal who caused an almost immediate rule change to the Cup (that a team requires at least two to qualify).
We had to run a bit of an unorthodox offensive scheme this year. Offensive Linemen for the 3rd consecutive year have been one of the best behaved groups in college football, and we only had 4 qualifying OL this year. Our First team offense consists of 4 OL, 1 QB, 2 RB, 1 TE, and 3 WR. No kickers or punters qualified this year.
The Coach Mike Haywood "Leading by Example" Award
Given to the coach or administrator who earns the most points and/or gets fired in the most embarrassing fashion. This award does not have to be awarded annually and is completely up to the Committee (also, after leaving the profession in 2010, Mike Haywood is back in coaching at FCS Texas Southern and does qualify for his own award).
This year's award goes to Zach Smith, whose case upended the end of the offseason and is still ongoing with large implications for Ohio State including the suspension of Head Coach Urban Meyer for 3 games. Zach Smith was formally charged with criminal trespass on May 12, 2018 at his ex-wife's apartment, but the investigation that resulted from that uncovered years of alleged abuse dating back to 2009, and other sordid details including sexual relations with Ohio State staffers in Ohio State offices, having thousands of dollars of sex toys delivered to his office, and photographic transmissions of his member from inside the White House. It's an unfortunate story that hasn't fully resolved yet. 6 other coaches were charged with crimes this offseason, including brand new D3 Football program Finlandia's HC Robert Boss, South Dakota State HC John StiegelMeier, Michigan Director of Performance Fergus Connolly, D2 Tuskegee Assistant Ramone Nickerson, Georgia Associate Equipment Manager Kevin Purvis, and Louisville TE Coach Chris Klenakis.
The Paul Dee Memorial Award for High Profile Compliance
"Because high-profile athletes demand high-profile compliance." Awarded to the conference that, through the fortuitousness of group effort, has the highest point total.
In Review: Big Ten beat out the SEC! FBS continued to generally outperform FCS, and every FBS conference was on the board. The Sun Belt was last in FBS, and the ACC was last among the P5.
The Switzer Sweep
This award goes to that rare team that manages to winning a National Championship, pull in a top recruiting class, and win The Fulmer Cup all in one calendar year. Like the national title according to some, this year was a complete split.
Team
National Champions
Alabama / UCF
#1 Recruiting Class
Georgia (247 Composite)
2018 Fulmer Cup
Rutgers
More about the Fulmer Cup:
The Fulmer Cup was created in 2006 by Spencer Hall of Every Day Should Be Saturday, and run by his website for six years. In 2014, he permitted /CFB to take over the award and this is the fourth year of its time under control of /CFB and its dedicated sub-section, /TheFulmerCup. Points are awarded by members of The Fulmer Cup Committee, made up of members of /CFB. The Fulmer Cup is a parody award, like the Razzies and Ig Nobel Prize, meant to track the criminal achievements of various college football programs during the offseason and declare a "winner". It is open to all Division 1 football programs (FBS & FCS), and points are awarded based on the level of crime. The Fulmer Cup season starts the minute the national title game is finished and ends before the first kickoff, this year on Saturday, Aug 25. Winners are crowned in team, conference, and individual award categories. Players qualify from the moment they enroll at the school (no commits or other recruits) until the depart or are dismissed from the team. For a crime to count, the player has to be on the team, i.e. not dismissed for unrelated things before the crime was committed (but if they were dismissed for a crime that they were later charged for, it counts). On very special occasions, a coach or athletic director arrested, cited or charged would count (as they go up the chain of command): Those are special occasions, and are left entirely up to the discretion of the Committee. Points must be documented. What is "documentation"? A court record, arrest record, or news article describing the citation, charges, and/or arrest. No arrest, citation, or charges: no points.
/CFB ("R-C-F-B") is the college football section of reddit.com, hosting its own community of over 450,000 subscribers and section traffic of over 1M unique hits and 15m total hits per month during the season while also maintaining a Twitter account, @RedditCFB (currently downrecently resurrected) with a following of over 130k. It hosts popular game threads, over 100 AMA (interviews) with notable CFB personalities, and does a number of charitable projects. It is run by an independent team of volunteer moderators. /TheFulmerCup is out of a separate subreddit to permit an easier tally of qualifying incidents; it has its own Twitter account, @TheFulmerCup. The current members of the Fulmer Cup Committee:
This year's Golden Snitch Award goes to the user who submitted the most incident reports that wasn't on the Committee, so congratulations to armadaos_! They submitted 6 reports this year.
According to the Tennessee criminal code, gambling is illegal whether or not skill is involved in the outcome. This is different from most American states, where exceptions are made for skill-based games. However, online gambling is illegal throughout the country under federal law. You can report online gambling to the FBI. Live gambling that violates state law should be reported to the appropriate state authority – typically a gaming commission or illegal gambling task force within state law enforcement. The Tennessee Code, Chapter 39, covers illegal gambling. As we’ve already mentioned, the definition of gambling in TN is rather unclear and vague. In general, betting on valuables or money on luck-centered activities are considered illegal. State officials are free to argue to a certain extent that those rules also apply to online casino games. The five topics covered on a state-by-state basis in the chart are: Dominant Factor Test Applied: “Chance” is one of the elements generally required to be present in order for a game to violate a state anti-gambling statute. Most states have concluded that where the elements of skill, whatever they may be, predominate over the elements of chance, whatever they may be, in determining Although gambling is becoming more and more commonplace throughout the country, Tennessee's gambling laws are quite restrictive. Even a fishing tournament in which participants paid entry fees for the chance of winning cash prizes was ruled to be gambling (and thus illegal) by the state's attorney general. As it is in most states in the US, gambling and sports betting were previously illegal. Thankfully, the HBI1 bill was passed by the House of Representatives to legalize online sports betting in Tennessee. This is great news for those who have been yearning for a chance to gamble online and for the sports betting industry at large. Even though most forms of gambling are illegal in Tennessee, all affected by gambling problems can find adequate help within the state borders. The Tennessee Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services can recommend you various specialists and organizations, where you can treat your gambling addiction and problems. The state government of Tennessee allows a tiny bit of legal gambling outside the state lottery, but these laws are begrudging ones. In fact, as late as 2011, the only form of gaming allowed under Tennessee law was the education lottery. I'll discuss the gambling which is legal, the agency used to enforce laws, and why 2011 saw changes to the law. It is not explicitly illegal to take part in online gambling in Tennessee. However, the daily fantasy sports betting sites do operate in the state offering their services. If you don’t understand the Tennessee gambling laws, instead ask a professional lawyer to explain what the laws mean and if they are legal or not. The laws related to gambling in Tennessee may be fairly extensive, but you will not have to worry about violating any of these laws if you gamble online. There is no written law specifically banning online gambling in the state of Tennessee, effectively making this one of the safer states in terms of the law.
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